April 26, 2013

Picnic Dates, Fuck Yeah!

By Kelly, who loves picnic dates more than Dance Moms love bickering:
Spring has finally sprung! Although there are many things I enjoy about the onset of this season (daffodils, baseball, stuffing myself with Easter candy), my number one favorite thing about warm weather is the return of the picnic date.
This cute as hell
If you’ve never been on a picnic date, you’ve been robbed, my friend. A picnic date is one of the most romantic, yet simplest date ideas that exist. Done right, a picnic date can make you feel like you live in a Jane Austen novel, only way better because you don’t have to wear a corset or marry a guy for his money. Here are my five steps to the perfect picnic date:
  1. Find a big ass blanket that you don’t mind getting dirty to be your picnic blanket. Offer to carry it even though you know your date will end up carrying it, because men have this thing about always carrying stuff (not that I’m complaining). Also bring a Frisbee and whatever books you and he are reading at the moment. 

  2. Walk to the local market to pick out what you want to eat for lunch. Society dictates that you MUST buy a baguette, because what kind of picnic would it be without a baguette? You also need to buy the most expensive type of brie, because if you’re going to blow a week’s worth of saturated fat on one item of food, it had better be the tastiest you can get. 

  3. Find a local park that isn’t overrun by children. Spread out your blanket and get to noshing. Don’t feed each other, because we’re trying to be romantic here, not act like we’re toddlers. 

  4. When you’re done with eating, there is no limit to what to do next. Throw a Frisbee? Kick a ball around? Swing on the swings? The warm weather will make you giddy enough to actually enjoy exercise. (Strange concept, I know!) 

  5. When you’re finally tuckered out from all of your physical activity, pull out your books and read together on your picnic blanket. Enjoy your break from the computer/cell phone/TV screen. Head home when both of you reach a lull in your books’ plotlines. 
And there you have it: the perfect mix of vitamin D, endorphins, and oozy French cheese to put the romance back into your relationship, or at least back into the idea of spending time outside. 


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