|Fuck these dishes in their plastic face!|
I start flinging open cabinets like I was expecting to find Ryan Gosling hiding within, but instead all I saw were assorted items not even meant for the kitchen. One cabinet was actually full of paperwork! Paperwork for Christ's sake! Does he not own a desk? A filing cabinet? A binder left over from his 10th grade history project? Maybe if he actually had room available in his kitchen cabinets, more kitchen-like items would exist there.
Instead, when all was said and done and the Hamburger Helper was getting cold and all the cabinets had been thrown open, I'd found a total of six shot glasses in his kitchen. That was the extent of his glassware: six shot glasses, all with stupid sayings written on them like, "It's Beer o'clock" and that "One Tequila, Two Tequila" crap and that just makes me sad.