February 5, 2015

Real Talk: He's Too Hot for Me

Before the Self-Esteem Police censor this post, I wish to assert proudly that I love the way I look. My body isn't as thin as it was when I was a high school cheerleader...

This is not me
...but it does all of the things that I ask, including hoisting me up and down the five (!) stories of my walk-up apartment and playing an immoderate amount of co-ed softball. I have pretty blue eyes and legit NYC style. I clock a solid 7, even on a bad hair day.

But the truth is, there are some guys out there who are so goddamn hot, I simply have no business sleeping with them. And yet, I am. And it's awesome, but also sobering.

Picture this: all 5'1" of me rolls into the bar alongside a strapping, broad-shouldered fellow who, were he sporting pinstripes instead of his [perfectly tailored, probably custom] trousers, would not look out of place on the pitcher's mound at Yankee Stadium. We're basically a reverse Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley.

Mr. Joel, could I borrow your shades? People are staring at us
While we vibe happily in the corner booth, I can't help but notice that all eyes in the spot are squarely on us. I see them squint, trying to make sense of us as a pair. Yes, good citizens, I can hear you wondering aloud to your friends what the heck he's doing here with me. No, I'm not his cousin taking him out on the town. No, I'm not one of his co-workers gabbing about office politics over a stiff drink. And no, I'm not an Internet date gone awry.

Maybe he digs my rapid-fire wit or the fact that I can rattle off informed opinions about this season's Amazon Pilot offerings. Whatever. He's choosing to be here with me, y'all, so stop leering.

The ego trip of strolling out at last call with the dude every other girl wanted to take home doesn't always make up for a night spent straining to hear what he's saying to me instead of what the cranky jerks next to us are saying to each other about me. All of which is compounded by the fact that he is NOT my boyfriend, thankyouverymuch, and so really, who's to say he's not going to excuse himself to use the facilities and discreetly pluck some better-looking lass out of the crowd on his way? He's a hot guy. I know he has options.

What about you, Team SK?  Has being on the lower end of the attractiveness see-saw than your mate ever put a black fly in your Chardonnay? Tell me in the comments.


Anonymous said...

The answer to your question is different for guys vs girls.

For guys, we can develop game to where we get the same type of respect that you were giving the hot-looking guy. You just have to mess with a girl's mind more. Women are much more susceptible to "dating their number". If she sees herself as overweight, she is able to find overweight guys attractive. Guys are not the same; Regardless of our number, we want someone we view as at least an 8. An overweight guy will be attracted to a slim girl regardless of how he views his own attractiveness.

So for a girl, if we are overweight, if we make them feel overweight or generally bad about their own looks, they find us more attractive.

Weird, but it works.

Alexandra said...

I think people's opinions don't really matter in this case. So what if you date is better looking? You should be proud of yourself that you've scored something like that, rather than spending time worrying about what other people think. And it's not just looks that matter. If the person you're with is extremely beautiful, but not that talkative or you feel you don't have a great connection, then you shouldn't waste your time just because they look very well.

Anonymous said...

I'm only attracted to *what I perceive* to be my level or higher. I've been cast aside by uglier guys, so I figure why not take the same risk with a tasty-looking guy?

Post a Comment