July 6, 2008

This Week: The Wake 'n' Cringe

The wake and cringe happens to the best of us. The scenario goes something like this: You had one too many Philly specials last night. Really, just having one Philly special is one too many if you ask me, but I digress.cpurtney acting a fool

Groaning, you sit up in bed and wipe last night's smeared mascara from under your eyes. For a second you feel like Courtney Love as you stagger to the bathroom for a cup of water. You gulp it down in an effort to relieve your severe case of cottonmouth. As you inspect your reflection in the mirror, you see a handful of unexplained scrapes and bumps scattered across your body.

Hey, where'd that creepy bruise on your thigh come from? Oh right, you fell off the stage dancing to Girl Talk. Twice. Slowly the mist of your hangover begins to clear and then the awfulness of last night's antics come flooding back to you in what can only be described as a cringestorm.

Did you really say those things to your ex last night? Oh yes, you did. Your stomach flip-flops as you check your text message outbox. What were you thinking? You acted a fool and everyone knows it. Oh, Christ. Who hasn't done the wake 'n' cringe?

The following are a few tales of our own bouts with the wake 'n' cringe. Enjoy and feel free to submit your own cringe-filled morning stories in all their glory to us at tips@shmittenkitten.com.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Way to change the comments settings!! You sure can dish it out but you obviously can't take it when it comes back.

Anna said...


I, Anna, decided to change the comment settings because we are being flooded with some really vicious, vapid comments that don't pertain to the material at hand.

It's not that I "can't take it," it's that I can only spend my energy responding to worthwhile ones. Like yours! You asked a totally reasonable question and I published it, see?

I didn't know that I would be included on this list of bikini bloggers or whatever. In fact, I didn't even know about it until after it was published. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered and happy to be included, but I also wasn't prepared to have the spotlight shined on me so bright.

Sorry, I hate to disappoint you, but I'm a human being and I love this site with all my heart and I don't like seeing spoilsports try to pull our pigtails.

Fine, I'm fat. Fine, I'm not hot. Fine, no one actually wants to see me in a swimsuit. Got the memo. Shrug.

If you guys hate our site so much and think I am so retarded, I think that the domain Shmuppy Puppy is open. Go nuts!

Ho hum.


Anonymous said...

Judge not lest you be judged.

Anna said...

Seriously, who uses the word "lest?" What is that? Dialogue from "The Village?"

Sorry, I'm cracking up over here.

Shannon K. said...

Actually, I think it's "judge not lest YE be judged."

Now Jesus hates you for messing up his lyrics.

Sarah said...

I think Anna and Shannon are both such beautiful, smart, and funny women. I love this blog and I look forward to each new post. I am sorry that some people "just don't get it" and I don't want you guys to change a thing about your S.K.

J said...

That's awesome for Anna, but why was Shannon left off this bikini blog thing? They shoulda shared that title.

Someone with more energy needs to investigate this.

Shannon K. said...

Aw! Thanks Joshua!

If it had been "20 bloggers we want to see in a spacesuit" I probably woulda made the cut. I know how to rock the space gear with the best of them.

J said...

Ha, I'll remember that when I compile my hottest space-bloggers list next year.

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