September 24, 2008

Deal Breaker Reader Submission: Wheels or Bust!

This comes to us from our reader, Lisa. Vroom, vroom:
This deal breaker is a recent revelation and it’s a biggie: He must have wheels! Bicycle and a car? Cool. Moped and a car? Cool. Motorcycle and a car? Cool. Pogo stick and a car? Cool. No car? BFD.

This only seems to be a problem when I go home to the lovely suburbs of Bucks County for the weekend every now and then. The first culprit was a boy who was way too pretty to pass up. A friend showed up at my favorite dive bar one weekend with a buddy from work in tow and--man, did you see James Franco on SNL this past weekend? In the crappy "Cougar Den" skit, with the long emo-boy hair? Yeah. Just. Like. That.

So we went back to his place, in my car. I didn’t think twice, I figured he had just carpooled and left his car at his apartment. And it was all so well and good that I thought maybe it was going to turn into a long distance relationship. That is, until I realized I’d be doing the traveling all the time. Yep, this boy’s got feet and that’s about it. I still don’t know why he doesn’t have a car, but he was so amazing that I still choose to ignore that little fact every now and then.

Now, this guy’s friend on the other hand is seriously without wheels. Some people are poor. Some people are environmentally conscious. Some people don’t want to pump their own gas and only drive if they’re on their way to Jersey to get gas (i.e. my mom). Some people have three DUIs. Oh, yeah, those tricky DUIs. Here’s a tip, don't get with the guy who has been slapped with enough DUIs that he hasn’t been able to drive since I was in high school. Aaaaaand, I just graduated college if you can do the math. Sweet. That’s one walk home from the bar I totally regret.

So lately I’ve been drifting toward guys that have two cars and can drive them both. Can’t go wrong there, right? Oh, and SUPER EXTRA BONUS POINTS if a guy has two cars and at least one of them is a manual. *wink wink*
We have to agree with you here; as an adult, dating a guy without a car in the suburbs in not sexy. What does he do, hitch a ride to Applebee's? Does he have his mom drop him off at the mall? Does he take the bus to the movie theater? And, we all know that buses in the suburbs are super creepy. Thanks for the story, Lisa.

We'll keep our fingers crossed that some guy pulls a Billy Ocean on you and is all "Hey! You! Get Into My Car!"


Lisatella said...

Coincidentally, a bunch of friends and I have been joking around about that song all week. Fate!!

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