February 18, 2009

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Text "U" and "R" Instead Of The Whole Word

I mean, COME ON! Just type out the whole word. It's not that hard. As a head's up, when we read that "u r on ur way," it makes us cringe. Hard. You look like a third grader, the way you peck out the letters like that. And, it is extremely unsexy to read your chicken scratch texts. You don't have to write everything out in the Queen's English, but a little effort goes a long way.

As a general rule, guys who text just the letters "u" and "r" instead of the entire word:
  • Are terrible at kissing
  • Drink crappy beer by the case
  • Think that Dave & Buster's is a superfun place (spoiler alert: it's not)
  • Are unable to confidently pair a good wine with dinner
  • Own at least one bottle of AXE spray
  • Have owned at least one Lenny Kravitz album at some point in time
  • Have an unkempt bathroom with gross, cruddy mags stacked near the toilet
  • Haven't purchased a book in the past year
  • According to them, have at least two "crazy" exes.
On the plus side, these guys tend to know how to barbecue anything and can change your tire like it ain't no thang. But, it's not gonna be enough to keep you around because everytime you read "c u soon," it will murder any boner you might've had for him. Sorry, Charlie, but thems the breaks!


Anonymous said...

Yeah; I think you can use abbreviations tastefully though. Less "r u on ur way" and "c u soon"; more "on yr way?" and "cya soon"'s. This paired with very occasional tongue in cheek California-style abbreviations ("totes", "whatevs") and the even more occasional leetspeak ("sw33t", "pr0n") is how you do it right.. imo.

Lisa said...

Oh glory this blog is the very best. Keep the bonerkillers coming!

Pop Culture Casualty said...

It's also safe to say that guys who text just the letters "u" and "r" are regulars at Hollywood Tans and have tried the Master Cleanse at one point in there life.

joanne said...

Thank you for this, I always say that I judge relationship potential by text spelling and get mocked!

Anna said...

Joanne, we are on the same, spell-checked, grammatically correct page!

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