May 28, 2009

Quick Rant: You Gotta Put The "Friend" In Boyfriend

You know, when we hear the word "boyfriend," we think of a sweet guy who brings you homemade chicken soup when you're sick, who surprises you with flowers just because, and who is so attentive that it makes your girlfriends gag (or seethe with jealousy).

But, nothing rattles our cage more than when a boyfriend starts acting like a dick. He's dodging your phone calls, he's being vague about his weekend plans, and he's cranky, like, ALL THE TIME. You know, two-thirds of the word "boyfriend" is "friend," which is weird because this guy is acting anything but friendly. Maybe it's a phase. Maybe he's just been stressed with work. Whatever it is, it's frustrating and it gets old fast.

We think that girls should revoke the word "boyfriend" when a guy starts behaving like this and replace it with a more accurate word to describe his role: a Bone Zoner. There's no illusion of friendship, just bone zoning. It's a subtle demotion in status that your friends will pick up on. Because at this point, bone zoning is all he's good for so you might as well call him out on it.

And, let's be honest, just saying the phrase, "bone zone," gives you more of a giggle than this sad sack of a dude has in a while (and no, occasionally repeating dialogue from Will Ferrell's movies doesn't count as being funny).


Anonymous said...

"You know, two-thirds of the word "boyfriend" is "friend"-- how very true!

yellaphant said...

That's a bone zoner, ladies.

Anonymous said...

Sticking up for the boys here....

I think you girls need to wise up to the fact that you don't deserve to be treated nicely just because you are female. If you as individuals do such nice things and look after your fellas properly, there is no reason why they won't spoil and look after you. But you have to give us a reason to do this or you are just another sponger

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