What are you, an animal? Can't you eat a sandwich like a human being? Watching you attack this hoagie is like watching a lion feed on a gazelle on the Discovery Channel. You have mustard all over you. I'm barely two bites into my sandwich and you've already wolfed yours down. You look like a caveman, all hunched over and grunting, jamming that hoagie in your mouth. Why am I dating such a pig?What we really think:
It's kinda hot how my man has such a healthy appetite. I wonder what else he has an appetite for. Rawr. I wish I was that hoagie. His love hoagie. Did I just say the phrase, "love hoagie" in my head? Haha. Oh man, I think I just grossed myself out.