August 4, 2009

See, Here's The Thing: You’re A Fox In A Pack Of She-Wolves

I adore the fact that you've obviously spent a considerable amount of time getting yourself ready for a night out on the town with your girlfriends. I also appreciate that you are clearly out to meet a dude by the way that you linger near the bar with a near-empty drink, holding it ever-so-slightly out in front of you to let everyone know that you’re ready for another round, should they feel like stepping up and making a move.

But, there’s a problem. It’s your friends. There’s nothing wrong with them per se, but there are just so many of them. It’s hard enough to approach a girl at a bar as a rule, but when you surround that girl with seven of her closest friends, the intimidation factor goes through the roof. I’m not going anywhere near that because let’s be honest: I doubt my ego can handle that many catty snickers, should I misstep ever so slightly. I’m sorry. It’s not you--it’s them.

On top of that, the guys who will venture forth are not the droids you are looking for. Trust me. Any guy willing to carpet-bomb an entire field of women is just looking for any enemy foxhole he can accidentally hit. This isn’t an accuracy game for him and that’s no good for anyone.

So I implore you: If you must be out with that many of your lady friends, stray from the pack from time to time. Even if it’s just to wander over to the jukebox alone and skim the CD booklet covers, that window of opportunity is all that’s really needed. It’s intimidating enough when it’s just you, sitting on a stool looking cute. Don’t make it worse for us. Also, I’m sorry for that Star Wars reference earlier. Sometimes I can’t help myself.


thesimplicity said...


Maybe it's just the stroke of third-wave feminism my mother instilled in me, but: it is absolutely okay for a girl to approach me in a bar. Especially if we made eye contact from a distance. Because when she has umpteen friends crowding around her, there is no way I'm going over there. It'd be like diving into a pool of piranhas to catch a goldfish.

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

The accompanying pic is perfect.

haveboard said...

@VulcanMike That was a Star Wars reference, not Star Trek. I agree with this post as well as what thesimplicity said: "it is absolutely okay for a girl to approach me in a bar"

Diane said...

Awww, this post is so sweet. It made me swoon a little bit. :) And I agree, the picture is a perfect match.

Jon K said...

Sadly, I can't take credit for the picture or the title. I'm not that clever.

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