August 30, 2009

Things I'm Terrible At: Telling A Guy That I Don't Like His Cologne

I have NEVER told a guy that I didn't like his cologne. I would rather breathe through my mouth for our entire date than confront him about his smell. I mean, he took the time to spray it on his body, obviously he likes it. I can't criticize his scent. It'd be like telling him that I don't like his friends or something.

How would the conversation even go?
"Sweetie, what are you wearing? 'Cause it smells like ass."

"So, I've been thinking about how you smell and I've decided that I don't like it."

"Did a homeless man pass out on your shirt? Because it kinda smells like one did."
See? There's no tactful way to address this issue. I would rather end the relationship than initiate this conversation. I need a tutorial for this. I would pay up to $3 to learn how I can bring this up gracefully. I have Paypal. I'm good for it.


Jon K said...

At least you know it's him. I've at least twice done that thing from The Office where I actually announce that I'm searching for a terrible smell, only to get very quiet and say "nevermind" when I realize it's coming from the person I'm talking to.

Anna said...

Haha, Jon! That's too funny.

Platypus Jones said...

There is no way to tell someone they stink. Buying him new cologne is the only "hint" that may work.

Jon K said...

Or invite me to hang out with them and buy me a few drinks.

tomg said...

"You know what cologne drives me crazy? (insert anything better here)"


I've never been a cologne guy, but if a girl told me she didn't like my deodorant scent, I would say "ok" and buy a new one, because I don't really give a shit. Am I alone in this?

Unknown said...

I have the same problem! But I really like this guy and I don't want him to get all butt hurt if I tell him I don't like his cologne. AHH!! Please help!

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