Not to be hyperbolic, but LinkedIn is the worst site on the Internet. It's like if Facebook had a lobotomy then tried to sort through your old paystubs and unearth anyone anywhere that might've had something to do with it's issuance. It's a lamer version of Friendster which is a lamer version of an office party in the breakroom. This site is geared towards middle managers in flyover states. It's MySpace for well-adjusted dads.
I'm not even sure why I have a profile on LinkedIn except it's something that I feel I should do, like shaving my armpits in winter. In both cases, no one is looking but I choose to tend to its upkeep regardless.
So, color me perplexed when an invite to "connect" pops up in my inbox from you. You'd like to add me to your "professional network." Hmm. I see.
WHAT THE FUCK?
We never worked together in a professional capacity whatsoever. We don't even work in the same industry. The only problem we solved together was the problem of how I really liked you and you wanted to date someone else. How well did that go? Do you want me to write a glowing testimony about your performance there, Champ? "He's really great at thinking outside of the box. Particularly my box. Like, when we dated, apparently, he was thinking about another girl's box the entire time." This is fucktarded. To paraphrase Wilson Philips, I'm gonna break free from these LinkedIn chains. Consider yourself LinkedOUT.