March 8, 2010

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "I Like Crazy Girls"

"So, what kind of girls do you normally date?" I asked as I swirled my drink around with a red straw.

He smiled and leaned in, like he was about to tell me a secret. "I gotta be honest with you: I like crazy girls." He stopped to gauge my reaction. I don't have one. I blinked. Is this guy for real? He kept going.

"You know, the ones that are a bit unstable, like they might threaten to stab you with a pair of rusty scissors when you don't answer their texts or some shit." That description was a little too specific which makes me think that he actually dated a girl who did that. And, he was into it!

"What can I say? It keeps things interesting, ya know?" He grinned and shrugged his shoulders like the whole thing was out of his control.

Newsflash: I am not the kind of girl to do that. At all. Ever. Frankly, I'm more of a Girl Continued than a Girl Interrupted. I guess that's a bad thing in his eyes? Should I try and pretend that I'm crazy? Should I scrawl conspiracy theories in blood on his bathroom wall? Should I cover my windows in tin foil? Should I re-enact scenes from the song "Stan" by Eminem? Hmmmm. This all sounds like a lot of work.

Only me, only in this bar, only in this UNIVERSE do I get to date men who view my relative emotional stability as a negative. Where do these guys come from? Can we vote them out of town and toss them back from whence they came?


Lenore said...

there's nothing wrong with being different.

miss bee said...

abort, abort!

while he may be cool with stabbing death threats for not answering texts, imagine what she'll do to you when she finds out you're dating.

there's nothing worse than a crazy ex-girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he reads SK, and thought his penchant for stabby girls would end up in "Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face". Too meta?

pretz said...

Had a good laugh reading this post. Although, personally,I hate that question ("So, what kind of girls do you normally date?"). How could you answer that?

Anonymous said...

Anything but that answer!

Anonymous said...

Have to agree that it's a ridiculous answer, and in general, a ridiculous thing to say, even if unprovoked by the question.

But on a related note: I gotta tell you, it's a bad, bad question on so many levels. It's a set-up. Learn some better dating skills and ask better questions!
What difference does it make what kind of girls he "normally dates"? It has nothing to do with you and your date with him. Who cares about the others? Don't you want him to think about YOU? Why are you prompting him to think about the other girls and compare them to you??? Leave them out of your dates!

Here's some advice from a happily married woman who happily dated tons of guys before deciding it was time to be with just one:
1. The better the question, the better the answer!
2. On dates I let the guy focus on me, on him, and us, and our time together. I didn't solicit thoughts about other women on our dates. Two people on one date is enough thankyouverymuch. Why would you ask a guy to think about other women when he's on a date with you?

Lora said...

I've had guys tell me this in a matter-of-factly way as friends, when neither of us were interested in each other. That they just only go for crazy girls. And having met most of their girlfriends, I can vouch for their craziness.

Anna said...

Yes! My guy friends say this to me all the time.

Anonymous said...

is it that different from girls who only like to date jerks? it's not that different.

Anna said...

True! Good point!

Anonymous said...

dude look at crazy angelina jolie and brad pitt. the crazy bitches are getting some. this past season the bachelor the craziest bitch of the 25, Vienna, won.
Just sayin...

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