April 12, 2010

Quick Rant: I Hate The Police

Fuck these guys in the fucking face
Oh my god, I hate this band. I would rather listen to a book on tape about tax law reform than listen to the Police. Seriously, I would rather listen to a symphony of chili farts than listen to Sting screech about a prostitute named Roxanne. It's like nails on a chalkboard for me! Their whole pseudo-rasta vibe makes me retch.

I mean, look at them over there. They look like poncy hairdressers who take themselves way too seriously. They look like I just told them that I think that dolphins SHOULD be extinct. I'm kidding, guys. Relax. Dolphins are clearly our friends.

They probably wouldn't even laugh at any of my jokes. Fuck 'em. I'd crank up some Diamond Dave in a second over these irritating tossers.
I generally like guys who are Police fans, which is bit of a conundrum. I'll just turn the other way to his fandom, as long as he doesn't subject me to it. It's like having his back shaved; it's fine if he does it, but I don't wanna be in the room when it happens. 

As an aside, I worked at a record label in college and, as you can imagine, being the judgmental music nerds we were, we all had strong opinions about which bands were played over the office stereo. We worked out a system where everyone had a turn to pick a CD to play in an effort to be democratic. However, my boss was a total dick and insisted on the entire Police box set as his one pick. It was torture for me. I quit shortly thereafter. THE POLICE HAVE ADVERSELY AFFECTED MY WORK HISTORY! They're just the worst.


Eric E said...

I caused my first-ever roommate move to a new room after I made fun of The Police. I joked that their songs must be super easy to write because they consist of nothing more than three words repeated over and over. It didn't help that a guy from Virginia who was really into Country music was there with us, laughing hysterically.

Despite that, for purely nostalgic reasons, The Police are one of my all-time favorite bands, right up there with Blonde and The Go-Go's. That's right around the time that I stopped listening to music, since I realized that I wasn't really getting it.

Anonymous said...

Quick question-tossers? Um anna do you watch Skins?

Anna said...

I have never seen Skins. "Tossers" is just British slang.

xkatzelmacherx said...


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