April 22, 2010

Quick Rant: Please Don't Interrupt My Conversation

From our reader, Heather, who doesn't like to be interr--what's that over there?
Guys, this is Harry Potter's butt
So I'm sitting at a bar, having a beer and a heart-to-heart with my best girlfriend. I've noticed you, because you've been sitting directly behind my friend and staring at me conspicuously for the past thirty minutes. I've politely disregarded your passive-aggressive advances by refusing to maintain eye contact with you for more than a second, making it quite obvious that I am more interested in talking to my friend than flirting with you.

Therefore, I am not going to respond warmly when you suddenly interrupt my friend in the middle of her sentence with some stupid line like, "So, are you students?" and "What are you guys studying?"

If you had been studying--my body language, that is--or listening while you were staring at me like a sad, hungry puppy, you would have noticed that my friend and I were engaged in a meaningful and personal conversation. You may have also noticed that it mostly involved the subject of our current boyfriends, and how much we adore them.

In that case, we probably wouldn't have been interested in talking to you anyway. But, if you've learned anything from your mother, or your third-grade teacher, or even the friends that you came here with, it's just plain rude and inappropriate to butt into a conversation, unless you're planning on offering us another round of drinks, or dying to tell us how incredibly beautiful we are before you leave and go somewhere else. If you're not doing either of those things, then please, butt out.
This happens to me ALL THE TIME! I've learned to just say, "Excuse me, but I came here to talk with my friend. I'm not interested in talking with you. Sorry." Guys get SO FREAKED OUT when I call them out on it, but what can I say? I'm direct. It's funny to watch his face register that he's just been publicly shot down. Them's the breaks, buddy.

You can't see me, but I'm blowing at the tops of my fingertips like they're freshly fired guns. Now, I just pretended to put them in an imaginary holster at my hips. Now, I just winked. Now, I just said, "Mess with the best, die like the rest." Not out loud; in my head. I'm basically an imaginary cowboy that quotes Hackers. That sums it up.


Allan Smitheel said...

re: last two paragraphs of entry

Are emails from "annabellewinks" a version of said shoot-out and not a shout-out?

Anna said...

Haha. What?

Anonymous said...

I guess courtesy is out the door on both fronts. Yes, he should not interupt mid-sentence, but come on now you're sitting at the freakin' bar. Just be polite and say no thanks and move to a booth for your oh-so-private conversation. He clearly wasn't listening, the fact of which should actually be praised, not insulted. Definitely stand up to intrusive dudes, but also realize you don't have to be rude to get your point across. Or maybe you do these days, which is one of the reasons why I don't go to bars to have actual meaningful conversations with my friends who I value. Good luck.

Anna said...

Have fun feeling superior because you don't go to bars to catch up with friends. Obviously, this is written by a dude. Because I feel like most girls would read this and nod.

And, guys go to bars all the time with their friends and don't have to be interrupted constantly. Sorry for wanting the same courtesy!

Anonymous said...

Calm down, comment wasn't meant to be superior. In fact mostly it has to do with finances in which I have absolutely no superiority, haha.

You should never feel sorry for expecting courtesy! Just saying it could go both ways, which is how I started my comment. =) OXO

Phil said...

Anonymous is getting deep.

Meanwhile, I just got fired for having a male teenager's nude ass on my screen. NSFW!

Lilja said...

HP's got a nice tuckus :)

Anonymouse said...

Actually I'm with anonymous, and Anna I love you but your whole 'imaginary cowboy' routine (though said in jest) smacks of superiority-complex, as does the original post.

Guys go to bars all the time with their friends because they mostly WANT to be interrupted constantly. And, believe it or not, some girls do too.

The study of 'body language'/'eye contact' is bunk - no one can magically know whether you're having the conversation of a lifetime with your bff or sweating an awkward half hour with a co-worker. Whether you are, or are not, in the mood to start a conversation with someone new can only be discerned by, um, someone new trying to start a conversation.

Like anon said, stand up to intrusive dudes, but a polite attempt to step in should be met with an equally polite 'no thankyou'.

Anna said...

I adore the name anonymouse, by the way, but I have to disagree with the superiority complex assessment. After YEARS of sitting uncomfortably while a guy drunkly hijacks my conversation with my best bud, I finally learned to have confidence and grow a pair and stand up for myself.

I'm not saying that I shoot down any ol' guy that talks to me. I'm saying I assert myself with drunken, pushy guys I have zero interest in. Especially when my friend is in the middle of a really good story.

I invite guys into my conversations all the time. I call guys over who I want to meet ALL THE TIME. I'm friendly! However, it's not ok if a guy demands my attention and ruins my time with my friend. It has nothing to do with superiority; it has to do protecting my time.

Anonymouse said...

"I'm not saying that I shoot down any ol' guy that talks to me. I'm saying I assert myself with drunken, pushy guys"

This is exactly how it should be: if they're assholes, you can be an asshole seventy times seven over. But if they're pleasant and leave willingly, stating:

"it's just plain rude and inappropriate to butt into a conversation, unless you're planning on offering us another round of drinks, or dying to tell us how incredibly beautiful we are before you leave and go somewhere else"

is superior, narcissistic bullshit. But I'm done here, we all have better things to do, or look forward to, on a Friday afternoon. Enjoy the weekend,

Anna said...

OH! Maybe you're confusing what the reader submitted with what I was saying? Because I didn't write that sentence you quoted. I don't know. Comments! Drinks! Happy hour.

Anonymouse said...

Sigh, I don't know why I'm back here, I think Daniel Radcliffe's butt has magnetic powers.

But yes, I used the two quotes to demonstrate that I agree totally with your ethos (be nice unless provoked) and disagree totally with the reader submission's ethos (be an asshole).

Happy hour to all!

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