June 28, 2010

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: Protein Shake Mix On Top Of His Fridge

From our reader Samantha, who is totally fucking grossed out by protein power shake mix on top of his fridge.
I live with a male roommate who's a nice guy but can't get a date. Today I found a bunch of Lean Body dietary supplement powder packets in our kitchen and I recoiled. What drives men to do drink/buy protein shake mix like this? Especially guys who are over 30, have a heavy reader's physique, and don't work out?

Does lifting the shake to his lips produce muscles overnight or make him feel more like a man? I can't stand when I go to a guy's place and see a giant jug of GNC's Man-POWER over his fridge. He really wants to display this so prominently? It's not something to boast about.
Not only should no guy ever be proud of this, but he should also hide it, like in a hole in the backyard.
Oh wow, this has never happened to me. Luckily, I date scrawny squirrels who probably couldn't carry that huge jug without assistance. And, if he was to roll it into his house somehow, he definitely couldn't plunk it on top of his fridge unless he devised an elaborate pulley system. He'd be hunched over the kitchen table with a protractor calculating angles and velocities and it just sounds like a big hassle.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

When a person lifts weights, they make little tiny tears in the muscles that are used during said workout. Proteins are the building blocks of muscle and helps repair the damage we do to muscles while lifting. It's hard for some people (particularly those who eat little to no meat) to get enough protein into their diet, so for them protein powder is an easy fix. As to why it sits on top of the fridge, likely because this powder is in a big honkin' container and is being used more than once a day, every day. However all of this is beside the point if you don't workout. If you don't workout, protein supplements and all that other jazz will do you little good.

typical guy said...

I like my girls skinny so can't stand when they have food in their fridge. Come on replace that shit with beer and I mean GOOD beer not some lite no flavor crap so I like hanging out at your place more! Step 1 for being a cool GF.

Anna said...

Typical guy, you made me LOL.

protein shakes said...

I rweally like a guy with a strong muscle mass. my hubby always drink a whey protein powder...It really helps to get a strong muscle mass.

Helen said...

Having two brothers I can assess that protein powder will help in your attempts to get "Huge", "Ripped", or my personal favorite: "Diesel". It won't, however, work if you don't go to the gym and actually lift weights. And they never kept it on top of the fridge, that shit goes in a bottom cabinet near the glasses.

Fun Fact: If you are not vegetarian and all forms therein, you probably get more than enough protein in your daily diet as is, no shake needed.

Anonymous said...

I have protein powder but i keep that giant tub in the lazy susan UNDER THE CABINETS. And I have good beer in my fridge. And I'm a girl. My rule = don't date guys who drink weak beer and that are not stronger than me.

Phil said...

I get all my protein from raw hamburger meat. I also keep it in a jar on top of my fridge.

Michael said...

said duder is probably to short to see on top of his fridge too. I remember when I turned 11 and could see everything on top of the fridge it was gross!

Lora said...

It's kinda like the male equivalent to TrimSpa (baby!) and all those girlie dieting pills. I think it's great to use them for a supplement or whatever for working out, but I used to date a muscley meathead who was obsessed with working out and protein shakes and took it as far as having other dudes shoot steroids in his ass cheeks in gym locker rooms. So uhhhh yeah that's what I think of everytime I see a tub and its personally a turn-off.

Heather said...

I'm with you, anonymous #2. If a guy can't do more push-ups than I can and/or if his beer is consistently lighter than mine, that's pretty much a dealbreaker. And my protein powder is nicely tucked in a cabinet.

dani said...

i drink protein shakes. my boyfriend and i have the top of the fridge filled with different kinds, but thats why we work out well together :) it would be dumb to have if they are a big fatso who does not lift though. we workout 5 days a week!

roboconcept said...

yeah, I keep my like MEGAVEGANWARRIORGREENPEAPOWDER tucked away in a cabinet wisely. but if it's the good stuff (peaceful planet, anyone?) we can make smoothies!

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