July 22, 2010

Bonerkiller: Gamblers

Bet you can't guess where this is from!
I'm the exact opposite of a gambler. I can't stand slot machines, I detest roulette, and I'll crinkle my nose at blackjack. I've been to Vegas twice and I hated it both times. Atlantic City bores me. I'm yawning just thinking about Atlantic City.

There is nothing about gambling I find appealing because I hate losing money more than I like winning money. Besides, gambling lingo confuses me. I have no idea what a spread or an over/under is and I don't care to learn. There, I said it.

So, when my new guy divulges his gambling habit, I instantly start planning an escape route. It'll never work out because dating a gambler is like dating a guy with constant PMS: he'll have mood swings, he'll be irritable, and he'll be irrational. No thanks.

He'll shush me because he's focused on the game. His eyes will glaze over because he's concentrating on his poker hand. BORING! He'll say things like, "I have money riding on this, babe." The only thing he should be riding is me. (Haha! Ew, gross.)

And, watching a guy gamble is a total turn-off. When he wins it sucks because he's hooting and hollering like an eight-year-old in a Chuck E. Cheese ballpit. And, when he loses it sucks because he'll frown and pout like a cranky preteen which will ruin our night. Who needs it?

[Contest time: The first three people to correctly identify which movie this picture is from win a prize. Email me at hi@shmittenkitten.com to toss yer chips in.]


Anna said...

Thanks for playing! And yes, it's from Empire Records. I'm giving prizes to five people who guessed it 'cause I'm nice like that.

citygal said...

I once dated a gambler, and while his winnings often resulted in dinners for me at Ruth Chris, I eventually realized that he wasn't just using his poker face at the table, but also in our relationship, so I folded.

Anonymous said...

Gah, I broke up with a guy partly because he played poker! Like, regularly. He considered it part of his ultimate plan for retirement. And, despite being 28 with an adult apartment and job, continued to use plastic utensils, cups, and plates. Pfft.

Anonymous said...

Yay! I knew it was Empire Records! I'm all late to the party though. But I'm still proud of myself for recognizing Lucas and his busty lady friend in Atlantic City up there. : )

Anonymous said...

my dude plays cards with other degenerate gamblers. but he doesn't take out loans to play and that sort of scary stuff. he paid off a huge amount of his college debt by playing cards. i cant hate.

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend gambles. I don't love it because I too hate losing/wasting money, but he's at least responsible. He goes to the casino with money he intends on losing (and it's money he would have otherwise designated on entertainment).If he wins, he usually pays a bill he needs to or takes me out for Sushi.

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