July 19, 2010

Bonerkiller: Guys That Make Me Guess About Shit That I Don't Give A Flying Fuck About

Enough with the guessing games regarding shit I don't care about! I feel like I'm trapped in a gif image; this charade will not stop until I figure out this useless, boring trivial thing. He'll think he's being playful, but we catapulted past playful seven minutes ago when he first asked me to guess where his little sister decided to go to college.

"Guess who I saw at the mall last week?"
"Guess where I got these sunglasses?"
"Guess what I named my goldfish?" 

DUDE! I DON'T CARE! JUST TELL ME THE ANSWER TO THIS BORING QUESTION AND LET ME GO BACK TO MY FRIENDS ALREADY! Making me toss out more than two reasonable guesses about this bullshit is the most terrible thing that's ever happened to me (at this party tonight.)

He'll give me stupid clues that aren't helpful, which just frustrates me even more. And, he won't pick up on my disinterest. I'll shrug my shoulders and turn my palms up. I'll fidget and look around the room. I'm out of guesses, I'll say, exasperated. But, he won't accept it. He'll instruct me to keep guessing, even after I plead with him to just fucking tell me where he bought his jeans already.

By the way, the answer is never exciting, certainly not a worthy pay-off to his over-the-top buildup. This guessing game is like the Spiderman III of conversation, just the fucking worst from start to finish.

6 comments:

Mallory P. said...

Duuude. Even worse? Guys whose numbers aren't in your phone until they pull the mystery guess who text game. "Hey is this Mallory?" 'Yeah, who is this?' "Guess." *groan*

Anna said...

Yes! Totally!

Drew said...

Bruce Campbell was in Spiderman 3, his part was funny.

Anonymous said...

I liked Spiderman 3. :(

Design Blahg said...

Just so you know, I asked this post to marry me.

Anna said...

Haha, Erica!

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