Loud chewers are one of my biggest pet peeves, ever ever ever. Where did he learn this behavior? It's as quiet as outer space when his mom eats. Why didn't she correct him when he was a child? He's 25 now and this should've been nipped in the bud a while ago. Between the lip smacking and finger licking. the acoustics of his mouth are impressive. I can literally hear his body turning solid food into a paste. And, I get to hear what that paste sounds like as he moves it all around his mouth. It's the worst.Holy shit, Ruby, my little sister says the same thing about me being loud when I eat. But, I'm not a loud chewer! I've never had ANYONE ever comment on my loud eating before, but my sister will get all intense out of nowhere and literally cover her ears while I jam on some matzah ball soup.
It annoys me so much that I have to pause while I'm eating to see if he's chewing loudly on purpose. For the most part, he is doing it subconsciously. Sometimes he will think he's funny and do it louder to fuck with me. "Ha ha," I'll say out loud. This joke would be way funnier if it wasn't how he actually sounded. I tried gently coaxing him to be quieter, but he either gets defensive or straight-up ignores me. This is the mouth that he uses to kiss me, but watching him eat makes me want to stay far away from it. Ew, dude!
It's been two years. I've stopped leaving hair on the shower walls (because I don't want to clog the drain) and now its time for him to learn to chew quietly, a skill most 5-year-olds have mastered.
Personally, I think she has incredibly sensitive ears. She must be part-dog or something because I'm pretty sure she can hear frequencies undetectable to the human ear. It's like when Teen Wolf heard the dog whistle in the hardware store.
You and my sister should go out to Souper Crackers and see who stabs who first.