August 11, 2010

Quick Rant: Dude, Don't Call Me "Baby"

From our reader Rachel, who ain't your baby:
The corner is a comfy seat. What's the fuss about?
I'm on a date but something isn't quite right. Maybe the beer is a little too warm, maybe the bar is a little too dark or maybe his laugh sounds less like a man's and more like a retarded donkey's. Or like Ronnie's from Jersey Shore. Same thing.

I like him, but I don't LIKE like him. Ya get me? But, he's a nice enough guy so I'll stick it out for an hour or so before I text one of my friends to call and fake an emergency. "What? Your unicorn got run over by a truck and you need me to help you get it back to the rainbow? I'll be right there!" Sorry kid, I gotta go.

Then he says it. "Baby, get me another beer." Umm, ex-CUUUUSE me? Baby? I'm all for nicknames and such, but the only people that get to call me Baby are the people that I want to call me Baby. When I hear it casually exiting his mouth when the feelings I have for him are equal to the ones I have for anything related to Perez Hilton (i.e. NONE), I'm out of there faster than if had shown up in a bedazzled Ed Hardy shirt.

To quote Andy Sachs when she runs out on that superhot editor in The Devil Wears Prada, "I'm not your baby."
Come on. You knew I had to run a Dirty Dancing picture with this. It was between that and a picture of TLC performing their powerful anthem taking on fertility clinics and day care rates, "Baby Baby Baby." That's what it's about, right?

Anything you wanna get off your chest? Drop a line to and let us know.


polianarchy said...

"bedazzled Ed Hardy shirt"? That's nuthin. This one guy from OKCupid showed up wearing a kilt...with a teeshirt.

Alan said...

So you lead the guy on for a date that's going nowhere and then get pissed when he doesn't get the non-existent hint and calls you "baby"? Riiiiiiiiiight.

...That said, there's certainly a lot wrong with the phrase "Baby, get me another beer." Are you supposed to be his servant girl or something? No "could you please" or "would you mind" at all?

Anonymous said...

"Honey" is worse; it gives me the creeps.

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