November 1, 2010

Dudes: How Long Do You Wait To Call A Girl And Ask Her Out?

Do you have a standard amount of time you wait to call her? Two days? Three days? A fortnight? If you like her a lot, do you usually wait longer to ask her out or do you pounce on it right away?

I'd bet Ferris waits two days to call and make his move




Tell me in the comments.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wait 3–5 days because in this day and age, if you call too soon you seem "desperate" which I find is lame. I hate the dating game with a passion. Its like whoever can act like the least interested gets the girl.

Why is it so hard to just be interested in someone and let that person know!?

Anna said...

3-5 seems like a lot, but it's not an unreasonable timeframe. It's not always about seeming disinterested. If you meet a person you have genuine chemistry with, making time to see them becomes the easiest thing in the world.

Anonymous said...

Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.
Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent, Sue: Six days.

jimmy said...

depends on what day of the week i get the number... either way it's not generally more than a couple days. the way i look at it, you know i'm interested because i asked for or took your number and vice versa. i'm not playing any sort of game, if they want to then i'm out.

Anonymous said...

I believe it's all relative. Circumstances vary so much from person to person and time to time, etc to etc. If, for example, I were to meet a girl at a show on a Thursday night, and she expressed some interest, I would immediately plan to call her the next Tuesday at 7:22 Pm. But thats just me.

Anna said...

Haha! I like your plan very much. That sounds purrrrfect.

Anonymous said...

My average is 3, but I've found myself more successful when I vary from that. My quickest is about five seconds after getting it, as soon as she said "give me a call when you want to go do something sometime." Despite the cheese factor, she seemed to like that.

Phil said...

My gut says 3-4 days. Any more than that and he's either a) a game player b) careless or c) clueless. Not great qualities for a dude.

But I'm a little biased. I'm strictly a non-game player. No point in playing it cool if I'm not cool in the first place. Most of the girls that were keepers that I dated.. I called the next day.

Anonymous said...

I meet girls primarily on the weekends (I don't go out a ton during the week) so strictly on Tuesday or Wednesday. 1st contact on a Sunday or Monday and you seem lame and desperate (she's gotta think you have options, even if you don't). Anything later than that, at least if you're trying to see her that weekend, and it starts to seem like she was your backup plan.

(In girls' minds there is a very thin line between "ooh he has options but still picked me" and "ugh his better options bailed and now he's falling back on me.")

Anna said...

I was just talking about this with my friend yesterday and she said that she liked getting a first call on a Sunday because that's the day when you're most relaxed. It's a good vibes day to casually chat!

Graham said...

I don't wait. You get that number, you call that number. The next day.

Any girl who thinks I'm lame or whatever because I'm not sitting around on their number for X number of days is not someone who belongs in my dating pool.

Steve said...

I'm with Graham on this one. If I ask a girl for her number, she knows I want to see her again. If she gives me her number I can only assume she's interested in seeing me again too. So why freakin' wait? Call the next day and set up a date.

If we were clicking in the first place... wouldn't it be better to be out on a date, flirting and having fun than sitting around waiting on some arbitrary timetable?

If you want it... pounce on it. Time's a wastin'.

Steve said...

Another spin on this that gets around the "looking desperate" thing is this... When she gives you her number, just tell her straight up, "I'll call you tomorrow." Then she'll either a) anxiously await your call or b) think you're lying and then be pleasantly surprised when you actually DO call.

Either way you're off to a good start because you've shown her that you do what you say you're going to do and you're not a flake. Always a good thing.

Modern Haredi said...

I believe the menhag is 1-3 days.

teenie said...

I actually had a very successful, although brief relationship, that started like this:

dude: so what's your number?

me: *laugh*

dude: what's funny?

me: i'll give you my number, but i'm not into games, so you either call me tomorrow or don't call me at all.

the guy thought it was the coolest thing ever, would tell his friends about it, like he was bragging. one of my brighter moments on the dating scene...

Anna said...

Guys, I love all of your answers and if you are under 5'8, wear glasses and a hoodie, you are TOTALLY welcome to call me anytime.

Zack said...

I take a different approach: I don't wait at all.

I keep a running list of events going on in the coming 1-2 weeks, and if I'm digging her, I invite her to join me at one of them (I like casual dates early on, dinner dates aren't my thing). If she says yes, *then* I get her number and call 2 days before the event to confirm everything. If she says no, I haven't wasted two days agonizing over how long to wait.

No idea if it is the best option, but it seems to work.

Anonymous said...

Looks like you will be getting calls from a lot of short, nerdy, punky dudes. Good luck with that. ;)

Steve said...

Ohhh... Anna. Why must a 5'8" height limit be a criterion? Up it 6", move to Seattle, and I'm SURE we'll live happily ever after. Maybe even together!

Anna said...

Wow, Steve. That's quite an offer. But, I'm like Popeye: I am what I am. You must be that tall to go on this ride.

Steve said...

So we're breaking up already? Well... it was fun while it lasted. I'll never forget our extremely brief, yet torrid affair. ;)

Anonymous said...

Graham and Steve should be spreading the word!!
There should be more men like you in the dating pool!! Get the number, call the number.

My peeve is when the "I will call you" never happens....why GET the number in the first place!?

Chris said...

For me it depends on the strength of our encounter. I will call or text as early as two days, if not just to share a story from the other night or recall a poignant fact we shared in conversation. I share a similar approach as Zack in that I keep a running list of stuff I'd like to do, and suggest an open meeting versus that of a face-to-face dinner. I have waited as long as five days without any discernible ill-effect, but anything longer than that and it seems as though most women tend to feel strung along.

Rebecca said...

I like the Zach approach very much. Anyway, you should consider yourselves lucky to have some sort of clear dating routine, even if it's diminished by some games sometimes (on first date I can kiss, on third I can have sex etc.). Believe it or not: in Germany this cultural thing doesn't exist, it's WAY more complicated (only sometimes easier). Yet there are NO guidelines whatsoever....

collin said...

I seldom ask for numbers. I just give mine on the back of a business card. It means she has the control over how we contact and helps her relax; it establishes my confidence and stability too. If she wants to call, that's great, I'll have her number then. If not, we had an awesome chat and go our separate ways.

Whatever happens it's all good.

Anna said...

I would never call a guy unless I was sure that I wanted to have his baby or something.

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