December 1, 2010

Bonerkiller: Chronic Knuckle Crackers

The sound of him cracking his knuckles is like nails on a chalkboard on a pair of knuckles. I cannot think of a more irritating sound than hearing another human popping his joints like they're bubblewrap.

He probably guessed that I hated it because at the first knuckle pop, I made a face like I was watching him club a baby seal. He didn't say anything, he just progressed down his hand, digit by digit. It was like a horrible-sounding xylophone.

When he interlaced his fingers and cracked some more, I wanted to plug my ears. It was a terrible, crackly finale. I felt like I was in my own personal Saw movie (I've never seen one, but I think they involve torture.) I'm sorry, but his hands should not sound like snapping into a bite of peanut brittle. It's not right.

9 comments:

Jillian said...

ew, just reading that made me cringe... I have a friend that cracks everything.. knuckles, arms, neck, back. its disgusting

Laura G said...

I think people who make faces at knuckle crackers are the real bonerkillers! knuckle-crackers unite!

al said...

I was going to comment earlier but I had to crack every... single... knuckle first.

I can crack my hips. How does that treat your boner?

Anonymous said...

I wonder if there are any boner crackers out there

Anonymous said...

lay in bed with me and you must deal with my toe cracking ritual, I physically cannot sleep without doing it. kthx bye!

Anna said...

boners and beds. Interesting!

Anonymous said...

what's that picture from? cracks me up

Anna said...

It's Pee Wee Herman!

Jonesy said...

Ah, just hearing about someone cracking their knuckles makes me have to do it. I have to crack my neck, too, otherwise it just feels uncomfortable.

I can also crack my wrist(s), and I love it when I lie down after a long day, and let my lower back crack several times.

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