January 14, 2011

Quick Rant: Hold Your Horses, Guy!

From Ashley, who thinks he should check himself before he wrecks himself.
Relax! I don't wanna be your girlfriend
Why does it seem that guys always assume that all girls want a relationship with them? I had a crush on this guy last semester, which basically went from being a crush to a challenge. We flirted and I believed that I was clear with my flirting intentions, but he didn't seem to pick up on them.

So it's 2011, a year I've dubbed for myself The Year of Taking Initiative. Saturday night I got good and social--and by social, I mean that I had a few whiskey diets. I ended up at his place at the end of the night. I started to "take initiative" and his response was to pull back and let me know that "he can't give me a relationship."

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP?! He was seriously mistaken.
1. I have no time for a relationship.
2. I don't like him thaaat much. I just want to maybe end up at his place every so often on a Saturday night.
3. I have a date with another guy next week! I'm a single lady enjoying the single life.

Maybe if guys realized that there are many girls out there who are single and are satisfied with being single, they would be able to have a better time with them knowing that they are likely on the same page.
I guess while we all watched a filmstrip of an animated uterus shed its lining during Health class in 6th grade, boys were sequestered in groups to watch a movie warning them about the dangers of girls trying to trap them into relationships. That's the only theory I can come up with to explain why all guys think this. (Maybe not all guys, just the young ones.)

However, it's a riot when you tell him that just 'cause you hook up doesn't mean you want him as your boyfriend. He furrows his brow as he processes it like he's trying to wrap his head around the implications of String Theory. It's so easy to blow their minds it's almost not fair.

12 comments:

cc said...

Preach it Ashley. I've never quite understood how I can freak someone out by my lack of clinginess...but I've seen it happen and shake my head. Can't a girl just get a little non-monogamous fun on the regular?

Ashley said...

i've actually found quite often as well... guys who want more than non-monogamous fun... like what are you talking about "you want me to be your girlfriend?" what do you think i am? NOT a commitment-phobe?

Laryssa said...

You absolutely hit the nail on the head with this one. I think insecure guys use this line as a tactic to put you on the spot and shirk off all responsibility/maturity, even if they don't really think you want to be in a serious relationship. It's just an easy way of saying, "I'm not accountable for anything from this point on." Sooo annoying, though, especially if you do just want to hook up with the guy.

Drew said...

But...what about the other side of this equation, the girl who is hunting for a bf and is just a little bit crazy and without clarity up front a poor unsuspecting guy might find himself having brunch, needing to provide clean towels and meeting friends and family. Better safe than sorry.

Penna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ashley said...

Touche, Drew. Touche. I hope my reaction at least declared my lack of desire to make any boy I smooch my immediate boyfriend. Brunch, clean towels, and meeting the parents are not what I consider any of my favorite past times... unless that brunch includes bottomless mimosas on a Sunday-Funday afternoon...

Drew said...

Smooch on Ashley, Smooch on.

Anonymous said...

Even better are the guys who freak about not wanting to be in a relationship and then when you stop hooking up with them you find out the next girl he is with he instantly makes his gf. Boys are silly.

Anna said...

THAT has happened to me! SO ANNOYING!

Phillip said...

Using that statement before a casual hook-up is like wearing a condom. It's ALWAYS better to be safe than stalked. It only takes 1 apple to ruin the commitment free sex

Ashley said...

hahahahaha well said phillip... protection first i guess. thanks for putting things into perspective fellas.

and YES I HATE when I get dumped because "I really don't want a a girlfriend anymore." and 2 months later BAM next serious girlfriend by his side!

Rebecca said...

You really did hit the nail here; it's amazing how often THAT has happened to me, and I never find out exactly what it is that makes guys think I want a relationship and how to communicate the opposite (I always thought telling them about my plans to live in three different countries in the next year might do the trick....)

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