This is an accurate picture of me enjoying my day:
So, in honor of my birthday, I'm going to post about my favorite thing ever: adorable short guys. I'll pause for cheers.
I wish I could have a huge birthday cake with a ton of short guys standing around nervously checking their iPhones as the candles. That'd be the hugest, squirelliest, cutest cake EVER! Could you imagine? I want so many short guys on my cake that they'd have to consult the Guinness Book of World Records to see if this was the most short guys ever assembled in one place checking their smartphones. I want to see guys like this:
How amazing would that be?
This is a great idea. Right, Kevin Arnold?
What do you think, Oprah? This is gonna be awesome, right?
Whatever. Party pooper.