September 14, 2011

Bonerkiller: Those Tiny, White No-Show Socks

I hate these socks. I hate that they exist. I hate that a bunch of sock manufacturers had several meetings about it and all agreed to mass produce these horrible cotton nightmares. Why would they do this to me?!?

I hate the way they look on a guy's body. They're so small! They make his feet like he dipped them in white chocolate or something. His toes look like yogurt-covered raisins. Ewwww. And, these sucky low-rise socks make his ankles look like tree stumps, which is a nose-crinkler. Why am I even thinking about a guy's ankles? Do you see what these socks are putting me through? It's ANKLEMEGEDDON!

And watching him putter around his kitchen in these makes me wanna puke. The heels of his feet are just barely cupped in the cotton which grosses me out. These are basically jock straps for his feet. Ugh. Make it stop! For the love of god, toss in a little more fabric here because this is an anklepocalypse of epic proportions.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

So is it cool if I wear slippers instead? I need to keep my feet warm SOMEHOW.

Anna said...

Wear an argyle sock or some shit. I'm sure you can find something more suitable.

Typical Guy said...

Don't worry Anonymous. It's just cuz she dates guys with wimpy ankles.

Anna said...

That could be true!

Anonymous said...

re: Those Tiny, White No-Show Socks

I'm wearing a pair right now except they're black.


Allan Smithee

Anonymous said...

they are better than dating a guy who wore beat up trail runner new balances with SAGGY DINGY IN-BETWEEN-CREW-&ANKLE WHITE SOCKS!!! im still grossed out by them just thinking back. i saw a picture of him about 4 years later and he was wearing low black socks. good for him haha

misskatej89 said...

what about hole-in-the-toe socks?

Anna said...

I already wrote about that!

maggie said...

i actually find these particularly sexy.

Drew said...

Mocc Socks are where it's at. These "no-show" socks actually do show with most shoes, Mocc Socks don't.
http://www.moccsocks.com/

Bobby said...

Those are the only kind of socks I wear with sneakers (white or black, depending on color of sneakers). My feet are kinda big and longer socks have way too much fabric and are not comfortable at all. Argyle (and other more stylish and interesting socks) are strictly on reserve for leather shoes (which get worn to work everyday, dates, dinners, etc). So in the rare occasion I can wear sneakers, you had better believe I'm wearing those uber-comfortable low cut socks.

Alyssa said...

There was a hilarious rant about these in the Wall Street Journal recently: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111903341404576484232440784242.html

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