November 21, 2012

My First 9 Thoughts Upon Seeing This Picture of Russell Brand

1. This looks like a challenge on Project Runway where some 21-year-old fashion whiz kid was told to adapt a pretzel dipped in white chocolate into an outfit.

2. Is he wearing his socks with flip flops? Oh shit. He's totally wearing his socks with flip flops. He's basically a hirsute, cloven-footed couch cushion.

3. To be fair, I really couldn't think of a better outfit to take a nap in. It has its own blanket built-in! That's impressive.

4. He looks like the Patron Saint of Chenille Throws.

5. He looks like how the words "flea market" make me feel.

6. Now that I think about it, this outfit is actually very Olsen twin-esque. Maybe he's smuggling one of them in his sweatpants. That'd be pretty cool.

7. You could describe this outfit as "Eggo Waffle Ascending to Heaven."

8. I'm not even sure if I'd let him hug me wearing this. I think I'd actually decline the hug. "No hug for you!" - me, in the Soup Nazi voice.

9. Two words: Captain Shart.

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