April 22, 2013

I Love Love Love Guys Who Can Tie A Necktie Like A Grownup

From Nicole, who digs it when a guy can bust out a Windsor knot like it ain't no thang but a chicken wing on a string waitin' in line at Burger King:
That legit tie makes me feel squishy
in my see-sawing parts
Every once in a while I might have to attend a special event. It could be a work party, or maybe another one of my friends has decided to get married. Regardless, I want to bust out the awesome for this thing. I'm going the distance by wearing a dress and high heels so he'd better break out the tie, dammit.  
When I showed up to his house, I hoped that he wasn't finished getting dressed so I could see where this was going to go. Yeah, he opened the door with no shoes on and a shirt that wasn't buttoned. At this point, I braced myself to either witness either a complete and utter fall from grace OR a totally amazing man-coup.  
At this point he had three options: The first is to attempt to be the cool guy by leaving his top button open and flashing what will hopefully be a minimal amount of chest hair. The second is to pull some sad-ass clip-on tie out of the recesses of his messy man closet. If he fishes out one of those I know all I can do is pray that the shit isn't wrinkled beyond recognition or totally out of style.  
The last, and best, option is that he actually owns a real tie and that he knows how to tie it. The only way that this can get any better is if he has a selection of ties and asks me to help him pick one. Just between us, I was a little nervous as I followed him up the stairs. He opened the door to his closet and stuck his head in. Then the upper half of his body disappeared. Oh fuck, he's hunting for the clip-on. He started to re-emerge and I almost hyperventilated. "Which one of these do you think goes better with my shirt?" he asked, holding a bona fide tie in each hand.  
I think I'm in love.
I'd like to take this minute to initiate a slow clap for all the men who wear real ties out there. You make the world go round, tie-hards!


Ocho said...

This is why I love you. You validate me.

Once I was at a tie-wearing event and the guy next to me turns and asks me if I could help him with his tie. The worst part was he was at least 5 years older than I was. He didn't seem like it took all of his pride to ask another man for help with his tie, but I was seriously embarrassed for him. How in the hell do you reach the age of 25 without knowing how to tie a tie like an adult?! Ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Wait...grown up dudes who wear clip-ons are actually a thing that exists? How the fuck am I still single?

Anonymous said...

Pretty cool. The PRINCE photo's are awesome too.

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