April 22, 2013

Quick Rant: The Lesbian Population In This Nebraska Town Is Too Damn Small!

From Sarah, who'd really appreciate it if she could find a chick who hasn't already hooked up with someone in her past:
I haven't seen the movie,
but I hear Will Smith is good in it
I’m sure you’ve heard of six degrees of separation, or maybe you know it as six degrees of Kevin Bacon. I don’t know enough about '80s movies to give a crack at the Kevin Bacon way, but as a gay woman in Nebraska, I’m 100% certain six degrees of separation exists. Or rather, six degrees of lesbian.  
It’s not like we’re a warm, tight-knit community where we all love each other and have best friend knitting circles every Friday night, but we do know each other, and it’s usually more pointless drama than anything fantastic. Every time I meet a girl, one of the first topics is, "So, which lesbians do you know?’ and we begin ticking off who we’ve dated, who we’re friends with, and the failed OKC attempts at dating.  
This is a terrible idea. 
Inevitably, we have lesbians in common. Either we’ve dated the same person, dated a mutual friend, or drunkenly hooked up with a friend of a friend. It’s weird enough to imagine this girl you’re trying to establish some sort of romance with chowing down on your friend/ex, but it’s even weirder to then run into that person, which given that this is Nebraska, will most definitely happen. Is it too much to ask that I meet a cool girl who doesn’t know anyone I’ve boned?  
I thought so, until I met my current girlfriend. Of course it came up on our first date, and I remember thinking, “Oh my god, this a total sign! It’s a miracle! We don’t know any of the same lesbians!” Clearly, we had to seize this opportunity and get married. Then, at the bar this week she was talking about roller derby and it turns out we both “talked” to the same girl on the team, and around the same time. Ew. We both had a few dates with her that ultimately led nowhere, but c’mon, how weird is that?!
AllI can say is that I'm glad shorter men in the Philadelphia tri-state area don't run in the same circle or I'd be screwed.


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