May 10, 2013

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "How Are You Going To Get There?"

From Gina, who'd like a ride, please: 
I hate when he asks “So how are you gonna get there?” Huh? How am I gonna get there? Man, I thought you just asked me out, doesn’t that mean you’re picking me up?  
This has happened to me one too many times, so now when I’m talking to someone, one of the first questions I ask besides what’s your name, is do you have a car or some kind of transportation or at least a license? Are you old enough to rent a car, or get your hands on one for the night? I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask for. Or at least if you have none of those options we can walk to a place by me, but there is no way that I am picking you up or taking the bus to meet you half way.   
Sorry man, I’m gonna be old school about this, but you gotta get your butt in gear, 'cause if this is going anywhere, you better be driving me somewhere, somehow because I am not chauffeuring your ass around town.   
Hopefully it's from his ass picking me up in his damn car
The last time this happened, I was too naïve to ask if he had transportation before we set up the date and made the dumb assumption that he’d pick me up. Right before we hung up his last question was, “So how are you planning on getting there? I’m taking the bus.” I had so many excuses racing through my mind on how to get out of this date but my greedy mind was only thinking about a free meal and that he might be worth it.   
I blurted out that I would pick him up. Little did I know that I should have cut it off right then because it just got worse. I picked him up from the bus that came from Jersey only for us to return to NJ to see a 3D movie. Now not only am I picking this fool up in Philly, when he just came from Jersey but he wanted to go back over! Why didn’t you just stay there and make things easier? Why didn’t I just say I got the fever all the sudden and back out of this goddam date?   
Driving to Jersey was amusing. We talked about how much he loved punk rock and that his favorite store was Spencers, and I bitched about paying the toll back to Philly and that this entire date was a dumb idea. Mind you, this is only the beginning of the date, so you can imagine how much worse it got when we arrived in Jersey (but those are stories for another time). 
Lesson learned: never go on a date with some dude who is without a car/license, loves Spencers, offers to reimburse for your driving but doesn’t pay for dinner or the movie. I say this now but my track record begs to differ.


Malarie said...

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a date. I'm just gonna go home now."

ddvelin said...

I got burned by this too many times so I started requiring a car as an EDQ (essential dating qualification).

Cubehead George said...

It's one thing if both of you live in the city, but the dude lives in Jersey! Not only that, but he thinks Spencer's is punk rock! The last time I thought Spencer's was punk rock, I was also eagerly anticipating sprouting some pubic hairs.

Modern Haredi said...

Wait,wait, wait. His favorite store is Spencer's? Like, as in, crude t-shirts and Austin Powers tchochkes?

Unknown said...

Spencer's...oh wow... it's full of douchery in all forms, and lots of lava lamps. It's a 13 year old/bachelorette/fifty-year-old perv/HS goth kid's heaven. I bet he likes Hot Topic too.

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