May 8, 2013

Story Time: The Dumbest Reason You’ve Ever Dumped Someone In Six Words

There are plenty of great reasons to dump someone. Maybe you want kids and she doesn’t. Maybe he is a compulsive liar. Maybe he collects DUIs like Pokemon cards. Those are all legit reasons to peace out.

Today, we aren’t concerned with the great reasons. We’re thinking about the stupid ones. The challenge is to describe the dumbest reason you have ever broken it off with someone in six words. I’ll get the ball rolling:
  • Feet smelled like old tater tots. 
  • Awkwardly stared straight up while kissing. 
  • Always ordered pizza or chicken fingers. 
  • Perfume smelled like freshly cut grass. 
  • Preferred "Voyager" to "The Next Generation." 
  • Voice sounded like a teenage boy. 
Got any awesomely dumb reasons for putting the kibosh on your relationship? Leave 'em in the comments!


[Previously: Worst Dates in Six Words Part 1, Part II, and Part III]

47 comments:

Anna said...

wispy hair, bad sunglasses, thin lips

Jon K said...

Got sick of free cheddar biscuits

thesimplicity said...

They had full blown AIDS, sadly.

Anonymous said...

Was a very very bad kisser.

Hooli said...

Reacted to vegetables like a child

Anonymous said...

wasn't punk rock enough for me

Anonymous said...

Dog drank from same glass.

Anonymous said...

Insisted on watching TV during sex

Anonymous said...

Didn't want to screw him.

Anonymous said...

large armpit stains, was a virgin

Anonymous said...

Wore pants that smelled super mildewy.

Anonymous said...

Raggedy nails, horrible attire, smelly car

Anonymous said...

Drunk dialed me constantly, wasn't funny

Anonymous said...

Would not eat penne. Bowties ok.

Anonymous said...

could not pick the right to/two/too

Anonymous said...

He liked egg salad.

Lauren said...

Lots and lots of back hair.

Anonymous said...

Only got hard doing doggie style

Anonymous said...

He started stopping during yellow lights.

Anonymous said...

He was uncircumcized. I just can't...

Jackie said...

Ordered a pork chop medium well.

Anonymous said...

asked me to stop doing coke

heather said...

Called non-Apple MP3 player an iPod.

Anonymous said...

He could not grow a beard

Anonymous said...

Never had Thai food before. Ever.

Amanda said...

Corrected my grammar. And was wrong.

Julia C said...

Wore a New Jersey Devils jersey.

GloriaWandrous said...

made a dinner with Minute Rice

mifairkate said...

Finished every sentence with "baby". "I went to the store today, baby. I picked up some apples, baby. I finally located my toothbrush, baby."

Weird...

Don @ HowYouCanFindLove said...

She had small teeth, big gums.

Anonymous said...

Used whether to describe the temperature.

Andrea said...

Halitosis. Co-dependent. Ate only fast food.

Anonymous said...

He meowed inappropriately.

Sam said...

These are too awesome.

Anonymous said...

Pissed my bed (and my back)

Drew said...

Contentious, just lay there in bed

Christina C said...

Did not swing arms when walking.

Leah Blewett said...

Asked about butt sex over appetizers.

Chelsea Rae said...

Jack hammered me. While under me.

Anonymous said...

The golf channel.

Modern Haredi said...

Deep intellectual appreciate for Karl Marx.

Anonymous said...

Little T-Rex hands.

Anonymous said...

He wore a Garfield t-shirt

Big K said...

Gained forty pounds in four months.

Bedroom smelled like vacuum cleaner bag.

Was a Christian and a virgin.

Had big dick, didn't use foreplay.

Met while backpacking, got really sensitive.

Darkwin Duck tattoo on his ass.

Shaved his beard, no longer hot.

Anonymous said...

Pencil dick from detached to stalker

Anonymous said...

Straight, but talked like he was gay.

Anonymous said...

Wore extremely skinny jeans

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