All this hoopla as made me think about what events I would win a gold medal in. So far, I can say with confidence that I would bring home gold if they had a category called "The Freezeout."
The Freezeout is when a guy has wronged you, so you decide to quickly sever every single channel that you communicate with him. A Freezeout is harsh, swift, and the closest thing to giving the finger to someone without actually extending your finger.
His MySpace top spot? DELETED.I'm like, the Michael Phelps of doing the Freezeout. I would set world records for the fastest freezeout in history! I'd be on the cover of Time and have my own Barbara Walters special.
His phone number? ERASED.
His email address? BLOCKED.
But, until the International Olympic Committee recognizes my talents, I'll just have compete in the minor leagues on the amateur circuit. Keeping the Olympic spirit in mind, this week we're gonna talk about the boys that we have carried the torch for.
For those of you not familiar with the concept, "carrying the torch" means to maintain feelings for a person for an exorbitant amount of time. We're talking about, like, years. You silently watch as they go through girlfriend after girlfriend, patiently waiting for your spot in his queue. It's kind of like the lyrics to that Mr. Big song, "To Be With You."
Do you have any stories about how you've carried the torch for a dude? Drop a line to us at email@example.com. If it cracks us up, we'll share it with the world!