October 13, 2008

Quick Rant: Textual Seduction

I feel like Seinfeld for even asking this, but what is the deal with a guy just texting you, "Hey." What am I supposed to do with that? It's great that he's thinking about me, but couldn't his thought have extended a little further? Like--oh, I don't know--an actual sentence? This is usually how it goes:
Him: "Hey"
Me: "Hey! What are you up to?"
Him: "Just made dinner."
Me, getting slightly annoyed: "Cool. Well, what are you up to tonight?"
Him: "Gonna swing by a dive bar and see some buddies."
Me (in my head): ???????
See what he just did there? Suddenly, I am the one asking you out and getting frustrated at his lack of interest. It's almost as if he is caught off guard that I even responded. This happens to me, like, once a week. There I was enjoying my peppermint tea and after our brief text exchange, I wanna run both him and my cellphone over with a Mack truck. Thanks, Duder. Thanks.


Unknown said...


Anna said...

Ahaha! Nicely done.

Anonymous said...


amanda mello said...

Booty Call Texts. WTF.

Are these better or worse than um, questionable photograph texts? Because I may or may not have received one of those tonight . . .

Unknown said...

hilarious!!! "hey"
guys are crazy.

Abby said...

What about the guy who texts you to ask you out to dinner. I mean, what ever happened to a phone call?!

Lisatella said...


emmaleeradley said...

i hate texting boys, i hate it.especially when they cant spell.
"one to come here?"

Anna said...

Totally! Misspellings are the worst.

Also, if a guy texts me using the letter "u" in place of the word "you" I pretty much lose any boner for him that I might of had. Well, not the entire boner. It goes down by roughly 70%. I mean, that's just science.

Anonymous said...

I have a girl friend who does this to me and it drives me nuts! It's not even just dudes! Also, she told me she sends hers out as a mass text message to like 10 poeple in her phone when she's bored so I'm assuming the dudes are doing that too. Obvious mass texts are annoying too.

Anonymous said...

ahaha! This is great. I'm also not a big fan of random "hey" texts at 3AM. Like, seriously, dude. I am nobody's last resort. Damn straight.

Unknown said...

kudos to you for responding to that dudes text. I'd say the typical text response rate from girls for me is less than 50%. i would love a "hey" text - its better than no text.

Liza said...

Oh my GOD. The last SIX GUYS I've gone out with ALL do this. ALL OF THEM. And then they're always "too busy" to hang out. EVER. WTF?

If you're going to text me... knowing that we had a good time... you better be looking to
a. go out
b. hang out
c. hook up

I don't want 2am "how's it goin'" crapola.

And then it doesn't even get flirty!!!! *groan* I don't understand. I should stop replying.

Anna said...

Yes, Liza! Exactly.

It's almost like whack-a-mole. They pop their little heads up and when I try to connect they just scurry back into their hole.


emmaleeradley said...

um, i got a text message last night from my crush of his um....unmentionables.


Anonymous said...


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