May 20, 2009

This Week: Wedding Wincing

Spring is here and you know what that means: weirdos coming out of the woodwork to converge at Rittenhouse Square Park, long lines for Rita's Water Ice, and weddings galore. Here at Shmitten Kitten HQ, this is an uncomfortable season. We're still trying to land first dates while our fellow gal pals have somehow landed soulmates and they are forcing us to participate in all of their over-the-top, mushy festivities. For the single girl, weddings represent everything we loathe--except free food and alcohol. Honestly, we kinda love that part.

To help get you through wedding season, we've compiled a few tips as well as some of our own horror stories of worst dates, slurred toasts, sloppy dancing, one night stands, wardrobe malfunctions, crazy crying brides, and "always a bridesmaid never a bride" moments.

This past wedding weekend for me and my friends included three fist fights, one arrest, two break-ups, three hook-ups, one girl cursing off the bride and an alcoholic aunt puking in the bathroom before dinner was even served; it was a blast! During the middle of one ceremony, my best guy friend texted me: "Wow, this is an incredible trainwreck" as the bride's brother started yelling/falling off the altar drunk when the couple were making their vows. That doesn't even include the bachelorette weekend antics! You get the gist.

Do you have any wedding horror stories? Get at us at We'll say "I do" to publishing the funniest ones.


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