July 15, 2009

Things That Make Us Go "Yikes": We Sometimes Go Insane If You Don't Call Us Back

Hey, we aren't above turning the tables on us. There are times when we've bugged out about the dumbest things that we'd never admit to anyone. But, we're all buddies here. We can trust you, right?

With that said, we pretty much lose all sense of decorum when a guy we like doesn't return our call. As a general rule, we never call guys anyway so when we decide to call a guy and don't hear back, we release some kind of evil force into the universe. It's like some Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark-level shit. We could probably melt a Nazi's face off with our with rage.

For the next 24 hours, we oscillate between disbelief, anger, and shock: "I can't believe he's not calling me back" to "I wanna sock him in his nose for not calling me back" to "I am really fucking shocked that this guy is not calling me back."

We try to distract ourselves by catching up on our Netflix or meeting up with our friends for a drink, but every few hours we'll remember that we are on the receiving end of a silent phone and we'll get steaming mad all over again.

Something about a guy blowing us off flips some kind of primal psycho girl switch buried deep down inside of us. It's the same switch that thinks that eating raw cookie dough is a good idea or that Jordan Catalano would be the perfect boyfriend. Newsflash: eating cookie dough will give you a tummy ache and Jordan Catalano was a douche. Damn you, psycho switch! Damn you straight to hell.

The good news: you're only allowed to be psycho about this for up to two days. At that point, you pretty much have to cut your losses and get it out of your mind. This would also be a good time to practice good phone karma by thumbing through your rolodex and returning any calls you haven't answered. Only then will harmony be restored.

Whew. That felt good to get that off our chest. Is there anything that you guys do that makes you take a step back and say "yikes"? Email us at hi@shmittenkitten.com. Confess your yikes-ing-est moments to us. It's cool.


Diane said...

This is so true, it's practically therapeutic to read. I feel like it's a meeting of Crazies Anonymous - "My name is Diane, and I freak out when he doesn't call me." Phew... feels good to admit it out loud.

Jon K said...

FYI, this is non-gender specific.

DanaDobson said...

So, so true.

Jane Doe said...

Dude, I just re-watched all of my so-called life via netflix. At 12, I thought Jordan was sooooo dreamy. At 25, I want to take my little sister Angela aside and explain to her that he's no good. Sorry, totally irrelevant aside.

loey said...

miss k. hate: agreed

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