August 3, 2009

Spoiler Alert: You Will Ulitmately Disappoint Me Because I'm In Love With Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Our reader Tara sent this in about her thoughts watching the movie (500) Days of Summer. It's a bit like reading her diary. But, we know what she means: we feel the same way about Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future. After watching that movie on a date, no man could ever live up to Marty McFly's vested/skater/guitar player/purple Calvin Klein underwear cuteness. Apparently, Joseph Gordon-Levitt had the same affect on her. Read on:
For the next 108 minutes, I'm going to be judging our "relationship"--or whatever it is that's going on between us. I'm not saying we're boyfriend and girlfriend, I'm just saying something is going on with us. Or, not even something, but we're seeing each other casually. Right?

I came into the date thinking we'd see a movie, hold hands a bit, maybe revert to some circa seventh grade dating rituals. But 30 seconds into the movie, I couldn't help but notice that this on-screen couple is basically perfect, and that this lead hyphenated-last-name-actor-guy had everything I've ever wanted in a boyfriend.

I keep thinking how no one else in the theater is in love with him like I am, and how if we could just meet I bet we would fall in love the same way that girls in movies fall in love with guys on the radio from Seattle.

I am thinking about how if he asked me to marry him I would say yes. Crazy, I know. For at least the next 48 hours, I'm going to secretly resent you for not being as perfect or as good of a dresser as Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and I will be depressed that I am not as adorable the female lead, what's-her-name. As you can imagine, I'm really fun to be around when I'm like this.

After the movie, when we walk a few blocks to get something to eat, I won't say much of anything. You'll try to cheer me up, but everything you do just won't be as cute as what the guy in the movie was trying to do to be cute. And even though the girl in the movie rolled her eyes when her boyfriend was trying to be cute, he really WAS cute and she was a fool, where as with us, you really AREN'T cute, and I could do so much better.

It was nice of you to pay for dinner though.

P.S. You still like me, right?
Whoa! Sorry to say this--and we'll probably get some heat for admitting it--but if there was a college course about how women really think sometimes, this letter would be on the syllabus.


Diane said...

we really try not to think that way! honest! but yeah... that happens. wait out the 48 hours, we'll get over it. ;)

Jon K said...

Don't feel that bad. We spent the whole time fascinating about Zooey, too. Nothing personal, but fair is fair, right?

Unknown said...

Ugh, just see the movie Havoc and you won't be into JGL anymore.

LizardQueen said...

Oh my gosh, I'm sort of in love with Zooey too. Is that wrong?

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