November 15, 2010

Reader Submitted Quick Rant: Dude, Quit Grossing Me Out

From Emily, who wishes guys would just shut their piehole when they divulge icky stories right off the bat.
Recently, I've been running into a recurring problem: Within minutes of meeting me, men start discussing the scatological.

Now, to be fair, the guys who do this are in always in the medical profession. Yes, being a doctor/physical therapist/nurse/whatever is impressive. He's--miracle of miracles--gainfully employed. He will have to TRY to fuck this up. So, when he brings up something disgusting, I die inside. Dude, we just met. I don't want to hear about anyone's body fluids when the goal is to exchange some of our own.

The other day, I was trying to get some work done at a cafe. I had my nose planted in my textbook when this attractive man asked if the seat next to me was taken. "Hell no, it is all yours," I said. Then he pulled out some crazy medical textbook. Oh, lord. We started chatting and then we got to the topic of his residency. He's on the OB/GYN rotation and he said that he hated it. Ok, that's fair. But then I made the stupid mistake of asking why. He answered that he doesn't like dealing with discharge all day. "Every woman comes in with some funky discharge. it just gets old." GROSS!

And, the other night I was hanging out with friends. I saw a hot guy across the bar and did the whole smile/look away/smile look away thing until he came over to introduce himself. We started talking about what he does for a living and he told me that he's a physical therapist. Nice, he's employed. Beautiful. Then he started bitching about his patients because they, "always shit themselves." He proceeded to explain how that sort of situation is handled. I tried not to puke my expensive beer onto his shoes.

So that is my issue: cute men who kill the very real chance they had with me by talking about the grossest things ever.
Yuck would be the understatement of the year here. I feel like I need to squirt Purell on my brain after reading that entry. Anything else you wanna rant about? Tell me at


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