March 6, 2011

Story Time: What's The REAL Reason You Dumped Him?

I know we all have stock reasons we give when we end it with someone: "It's not you, it's me," "I'm not ready to be with anyone," "You deserve someone better," etc. Sometimes we say those things partly because we hope our vagueness softens the blow and partly because if we said the REAL reason we didn't wanna date him, it'd come off as borderline cruel.

But I want to know the real reasons you gave him the boot. Did he have bad breath? Did his family suck? Were his friends knuckleheads? Was he fussy about where to go out for dinner? Did he make weird faces in bed? Tell me in the comments!

This is your chance to get it off your chest. We have an anonymous setting for comments so feel free to use it. I have a hunch that this is going to be very entertaining.


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Anonymous said...

Huh. This is kind of nerve-wracking.

That being said, from the dude perspective:

Dated - for two weeks! recently! - someone who after I told them on the second date that I was only going to be living in the same city for another year, was all like "oh, maybe I'll move across the country with you" and also repeatedly professed her undying love for David Lynch (sorry, he's fine but nothing I get my undies in a bunch over) and "Trent Reznor - but not Nine Inch Nails, I swear!" She also wore a beret on two occasions. I don't know what I was thinking beyond the fact that the sex was not horrible.

Alexandra said...

He was 21 and lived with his parents (which was fine because I lived with mine too), but they insisted on a 10pm curfew even on weekends. They totally controlled him.

Also once he called me crying about how his mom called him fat.

Anonymous said...

He insisted that some dudes in a car next to us in traffic were checking me out. They weren't.. he was just being paranoid. But he insisted on "racing them" while screaming at them through the window on MY side of the car.

I mean, seriously.

Anonymous said...

Same girl:

1. She sold Amway.
2. She had a 5 foot iguana as a pet.
3. On our second date, she showed me the loaded six-shooter she kept on her nightstand.

Anonymous said...

And you're what, 30-something and still single? Shocking. Enjoy your cats.

Anna said...


Anonymous said...

1. His shoes were too shiny, I mean like he polished them himself and wouldn't pay for a shoe shine. just tell me your poor, loser. Plus his suit was only Zegna and not Armani

2. another duded drove a shitty old Civic, I mean like it was almost 10 years old. I deserve way better than a Honda.

3. He was like trying to grow a herb garden on the appartment bakcony, didn't want to buy them at the market across the street. I can't stand guys he think they can be self sufficeint when theyr clearly dorks.

4. 6 inch dong. Uncut. ewwww gross. I need at least 9 inches.

5. used a rattail comb. Dude, it's not 1984!!!

6. didn't have and mp3 player or laptop, like how are you supposed to listen to music.

7. Hung out once a week with his ooollldd parents, he was 36. cut the cord, loser.

Anonymous said...

-Declared that his problems would always outshine any issues that I was dealing with.

-Blamed me when our boss found out that he was stealing from her.

-Enjoyed making jokes involving rape.

-Mentioned that I had big legs, and that maybe it's good that I had acne because that way I wouldn't never get full of myself.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure he never brushed his teeth but once a week or when I jokingly asked him to in the morning.
His band sucked.
It's his life's goal to get people to like the kind of music he likes but no one cares what he thinks.
Had never had a job.
Took me out to dinner for a "real date" and made me pay for my own meal.
Junk smelled awful.
Tried to get me to have sex with him before I wanted to and "oops we don't have condoms, oh well". Are you fucking kidding me??

So much more...

Anonymous said...

I dumped him because I found Vampire Weekend on his iPod... and because he was wearing these truly unfortunate "sock monkey" mittens.

Anonymous said...

Jackhammer or lost wood. Used baby voice in bed. Ate only at Dunkin Donuts. Had never heard of swiss cheese.

Anonymous said...

His "foreplay" lasted 30 seconds AND he NEVER lasted more than two minutes in bed.

Anonymous said...

He sent me a message from an on-line site,after a few e-mails,He wanted to talk over the phone.
That's all it took! His voice made my skin crawl!
How on earth could I meet him in person if I couldn't tolerate HIS VOICE!!!

Anonymous said...

He had his unit circumsized later in life. I couldn't stand to look at Frankendick one more day.

Anonymous said...

I chipped a tooth on his large dick piercing. The piercing was fun for sexy times, but I like giving head too much to have the fear of dental destruction ruin it for me. Plus, he liked coheed and cambria.

Anonymous said...

Some of these are good but some of them are absolutely ridiculous. I love it.

Anonymous said...

MAN CHILD. who wouldn't hug me. and did so much coke that I was never really sure if his booty call tests were sincere.

Anonymous said...

Jesus, after reading this im afraid no matter what i do with a woman in a dating/makeout/hanging out situation im always going to be doing something wrong. Thanks ladies, like im not paranoid enough already about screwing things up already.

Laurren said...

Boyf 1. Spread over five years: Threatened to kill himself if I ever left him, Smoked way too much pot, Big time liar, Would not stop messaging me on Myspace (oh the old days) because he didnt get enough "attention", Wrote a song about me being with another guy (which never happened) and had some garage band perform it, Cut himself in the pattern of his favorite bands CD cover and filled it with ink...and the list goes on! Cool guy.

Boyf 2. Asked me my name after he asked me out!

Boyf 3. Actually a really sweet guy, but was way too clingy for me. Had me hang out with him and only one of his friends where they made fun of me for being bad at Halo. Also I actually had a huge thing for his best friend.

Boyf 4. Also a nice guy, my best friends cousin. Problem is, he went out with every single one of her friends which made me feel like I was next in line or something.

Anonymous said...

Super needed, wouldn't eat any food I cooked for dinner he lived off of sugar and carbs. talked about moving in with me after only 3 months of dating thought I was the love of his life because I was the first girl he had ever gone out with, and he hated kids

Winning! said...

I sound pretty damn good after reading this. I need to move to Philly.

Broke it off with an older (by 3 years) girl after learning she previously had anorexia/bulimia issues along with a dad that still didn't like talking to her. Wasn't super skinny to show those issues and she also still got "sick" occasionally after eating.

Anonymous said...

1. Broke up with my first because he was insanely Controlling and threatened to kill me if I ever cheated on him. I never did.

2. Went on a date with a 24 year old that still lived with his parents, took me to see where his band practiced (it was a beer can infested dump) and used coupons to take me to a movie.

3. Dated a guy for a month, he totally cracked offensive gay jokes in front of my Lesbian roommates and gave a half-hearted apology.

4. My friend told me one of her friends dated him and he was dipshit, and he was small.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

he didn't like blowjobs...WHO DOESN'T LIKE BLOWJOBS?!

Anonymous said...

I was dating a cute boy with amazing curly blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes... he dyed his hair black and I just stopped talking to him.

Anonymous said...

I was 18 when we started going out and I dumped him at 20 because it didn't look like he'd ever have a beard. I dig beards.

The one time I suggested slightly different sex, maybe anal or something, he cackled and said it was gross.

Couldn't eat my clam properly. Mushing your face against my vagina will NOT get me off!

Sue said...

He wore Vibrams - the barefoot/glove shoe. On. A. First. Date.

Daniel Jale Yutaka said...

I will post a guys version of this:

I once dumped a girl because:

I: Her boobs were bigger than my head and sagged a lot. It was like putting bowling balls in a sock.
II: She didn't give head. So shoot me. Its not a lot to ask for when you've been dating for like 3 months.
III: When she kissed she insisted on pushing all her spit into my mouth. Hello? I wanted to kiss, not drown.
IV: She was an idiot. 'Nuff said.
V: Hated my little sister.
VI: Hated cats.
VII: She liked Justin Beiber.

Anonymous said...

He had dated my best friend for, like, a month when they were in high school. Fast forward to age 23 when he and I had been dating for a week and he asked me why she dumped him.

Anonymous said...

Farted during sex and it didn't even bother him. Always. and the fedora. oh god the fedora.

Anonymous said...

He yelled at me for trying to kiss him during tron.

Anonymous said...

Told me he loved me on date two. Then proceeded to tell me how many kids he wants and that were gonna get married. I was 17.

Anonymous said...

i dumped my bf today coz he couldnt understand why he got turned on by giving me oral sex

Anonymous said...

Oh wow. Sorry I'm late to the party, guys - I only discovered this blog yesterday via The Frogman!

Anyway, my stories. It's important to note that I don't date that often - I'm almost 29 and have had only 3 boyfriends. Here's why I dumped them all:

#1 was when I was 16. He said he was 19, which was fine - until 3 months in I discovered while talking to his mother (who he lived with) that he was turning 23 the following week, and what was I getting him? (Answer: a visit from the cops!)

#2 had a fixation with facial hair; absolutely loved it. The one (and ONLY!) night he stayed over I woke up to find he'd "helped" me along in this area by shaving - yes, SHAVING - my upper lip, chin and neck. Couldn't get rid of him fast enough. (Should NOT have told him I'm a heavy sleeper!!!) Fast forward a couple of years and this is still a major issue for me.

#3 is age-related as well, and quite recent. I get told alot that I look about half my age, which causes dramas when looking for a potential boyfriend, so I always make sure anyone who approaches knows my age off the bat. Unfortunately, #3 thought I was joking and said he was 25. I believed him because he looked it, and fast forward a month (happily there no sex during this time!!) and turns out he's just turning 19. Could not get out of there fast enough! Technically legal here in Australia, but my skin crawls everytime I think about it. D:

I'm gonna live my life single. :(

Anonymous said...

I dumped my x because he did not get me an xmas gift! and he dissed my kid, and he said I looked like "rockbiter" from "neverending story." He also had bad taste in music like the theme song to "jar-jar binks" (in the bar scence)- from star wars!!! on his MP3 player- (so lame-WTF?). He also only wanted missionary style, and he only has a 4" penis. I think he suffered from N.P.D - narisisstic personality disorder!!

Anonymous said...

I once dumped a guy because he "shh"ed me at a movie. The movie was "Troy". Brad pit in a skirt. Hells ya I'm gonna clown. Let your date be a critic during a movie once in a while guys!!!

Anonymous said...

I dumped my x because he was bad in bed.. very small dick. And claimed I was "kinky". How is wanting more than "missonary style" kinky? he would never let me give him a bj. and he always went "mushy" in my pussy. One time he wanted me to use a strap on. I think he was just a closet case homo.

Anonymous said...

this guy would tell me that I could not go into a certain bar, but he would go there. He also showed up at my house with an "AA" book, and claiming wanting to quit drinking, but then would buy a 12pack and go snowboarding when I was at work, get trashed, and be too tired to go out with me when I got off work. (what a self fish little boy) in my opinion

Anonymous said...

I dated this guy in the military who did not know what the red light district was. (so I told him what it was) Soon after that, he went on tour, when he got back he told me my souviner was in his bag. As I looked through his bag, a box of condoms fell out. I asked him "what are these for?" and he replied. "they are for us, baby!". I clearly saw the box was open, and two were missing... I asked "why are two condums missing?" and he said that he taught a sex ed training class for the other soliders, and had to use two condums to stick on bananas!! no joke.. not only did I dump his ass but felt annoyed that he tried to insult my intelligence. scum wad!

Anonymous said...

Dude says:

Met a snarky web designer online. Initially encouraged by her collection of DEVO albums and sarcastic sense of humor, but apartment was oddly empty and smelled like pissy cheesewater. Super foul. Red Flag #1: Ignored.

Moved in with me, quit her job, and ran up $15000 on designer bags and random eBay shit. Red Flag #2: Ignored.

Constantly ate disgusting "Cheese Dogs" and unhealthy processed crap. Farted all the time, especially during sex. Chain smoked. Mean. Asked me to spend $$$$ on fat reduction surgery, which I did.

"Honey, should it hurt when the hot fireplace tongs are shoved *this* far up my bum?"

Upside: The nasty little fart bucket liked to fuck, often, and had great taste in music. Back then, apparently, this was enough.

Have since gone GAY.

Anonymous said...

I dated this guy who's dick was so tiny Icouldnt even feel it , I didn't even know it was in , it was finger size fully erect & less than 2inches long tiny lil balls too ! He was a wimp & a crybaby too ! I've seen him get his ass kicked by women & men & he just cried & pissed & shit in his pants & cried like a pussy bitch wimp ! What a totall wimp with no dick Ibought him a huge bag of pink panties & a huge box of adult diapers & plastic pink diaper cover panties too & broke up with the fag ! All he did was cry ! That little queer douglas t. Gugel should just get that tiny lil vienna sausage turned into a vagina & be a female cause he will NEVER be a real man EVER !!!

Anonymous said...

I recently broke up with a nice guy. He would have made a great friend but as a lover he was was driving me nuts and it made me hate myself to be around him. After about a month I realized it had to end. Here's a condensed list of issues I had:

TOO SENSITIVE! Got misty eyed and sentimental over everything. I couldn't do anything nice for him without seeing tears well up in his eyes and a simpering smile on his face. This made me get bitchy fast.

He talked to flowers.

He refused to kill bugs.

He wouldn't shut up. I found myself sitting there thinking "shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up" while staring at the wall not paying attention to him. I'd tell him I needed space, but he'd only "get it" for a few minutes before being right back in my face. Which led me to not be able to stand his speech patterns... I got to the point where I cringed to hear the way he pronounced his 'p's' and enunciated certain syllables. And we only knew each other for a month. That was a LOT of talking he did in that month.

45 years old and called his mom "mommy".

He didn't smell good to me. He did not give off a particularly bad odor but i just didn't like his smell.

He liked loooong, slooow lingering kisses that could last for hours. He did everything slooooow. Which can be amazing, for a bit, but I like action and eventually I like to sleep. Just getting him to shift positions slightly was like pulling teeth. I asked for a quickie once and he said what we had was too good for a quickie. I took to getting him drunk just to get him to actually fuck me for real. Which was great when he did, or we wouldn't have lasted the short time that we did.

He had black hair growing ON TOP of his nose. And ears. I try not to be so shallow but I really had a hard time looking at him up close.

The actual hair on the top of his head felt like a cheap shag rug. A floppy mop of hair is one of my biggest turn ons, as is hair pulling. That shag rug just made me sad.

He was a vegan, and told me one of the great things about going vegan was losing weight, bringing me to my number one issue...

He was waaay too skinny. His ass was like two flapjacks hanging off bone. I just couldn't get over that.

pauline said...

I broke up with my Ex fiance a few months back, in what was a whirlwind of an altercation, and was destroyed, I won't even bother lying about it. Night after night, I racked my brain for a way to get her back. She wasn't returning calls, emails or texts and our mutual friends said she wanted nothing to do with me. I was in rough shape until i found a spell caster who cast a love spell for me,guaranteed me in 3days that she will be back. And surely she called me on the phone and and apologized. I am so grateful for what prophet Ojuku has done me and my ex is back on track.

Anonymous said...

I dated a wimp that was such a totall sissy it was like I was with a really wimpy gurl or something & Ifound out he only had & 2inch long by fingersized minipenis when fully erect & super tiny little grape size testicles also he was wearing panties & womens adult diapers & a bra Iasked him what was up with that & he said he was too afraid to ever use the mens room or have anyone see his tiny minipenis so he wears diapers & uses them 24/7 & he said he feels more comfortable in panties & bras & diapers ? So I was like oh ok ? But iwas thinking well with that tiny little babydick he should be in panties & diapers so in a weird way it kinda did make sense ! Anyway I need a real friggen man with a real mans penis so that was that he cried when Isaid I couldn't be with him cried like a little baby gurl his name is douglas t. Gugel but Icall him lil babydick sissy faggot crybaby wimp ! LOL

Anonymous said...

I am gorgeous, successful, funny and smart. He was a drug dealing, steroid using kitchen helper. Hahaha

Unknown said...

My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. We dated about 4 months. I did everything for him whenever he needed help with something, I love him so much and cared about him a lot. I never asked anything from him. I have no kids and a good well paying job. Everything was so perfect and good between us. He told me he would take me ring shopping and we would settle down and have a baby together. Everything was great. We met each other families and everyone told us we were perfect for each other. Out of nowhere he surprisingly left me to be with another girl, so i met a friend who gave me this email of this spell caster Robinson, so contacted him because i was so heartbroken and don't know what to do with myself but after 3 days of contacting Mr Robinson , my lover came back to me, call his mobile +1 (971) 512-6745 and your relationship problem will be solved

Anonymous said...

I recommend the love spell of robinsonbuckler @ (yahoo). com to anyone in need of help. Use his services, and you will have your lover back.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

He texted me constantly and always wanted to spend time with me. Pronounced that he loved me after only knowing me a very short time.

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