July 22, 2011

Reader Submitted First Date Horror Story: Two Tickets To Awkwardtown

Our reader Trevor was inspired after reading this post of someone's first date horror story so he decided to write in and share his. I loved it. Read on:
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lklttgpKTf1qbw88xo1_500.gifMy first date was in 6th grade, so we were probably 11-years-old and definitely not old enough to be having our first date. She rode horses, and after many lunch hours of me wowing her with horse facts that I'd read in a library book I borrowed, I worked up the courage to ask her to a movie, and she said yes.

I'm not sure if my parents were impressed or cautiously supportive or what, but they consented to drive me to and from the movie. I met her there, offered her my arm because I'd seen it on TV, and she took it, giggling. "This is going pretty well," I thought. Then we walked from the theater door to the ticket counter, and things went sharply downhill.

As an 11-year-old, I was not super familiar with paying for things, and I was super nervous to be on my first date, so I tried to get both of our tickets, being the chivalrous adolescent I was, but she refused and tried to pay for her own ticket. By the time the two of us and the cashier emerged from a cartoon cloud of awkward utterances and money thrusting, I ended up with all of the change. In fact, I ended up with more money than I'd come to the theater with. I was just relieved to have our tickets, so I said nothing.

The movie was Sgt. Bilko. Not on its face a poor choice, but as it turned out, this girl had the most annoying high-pitched laugh that I'd ever heard. I sat through the movie stonefaced, so as to not encourage her.

We emerged from the theater, and my parents picked us up and dropped her off at her house. We headed home.

"How'd it go, Trev?"

"Uhh, alright." The change in my pocket made a loud sound as I shifted uncomfortably in the backseat.

"That sounds like a lot of change." I took the mess of loonies ($1 coins for you Yanks) out of my pocket and it was obvious that I had way too much money.

So my dad turned the car around and drove back to her place.

As I stood beside my mother explaining to my date's mother what had happened, I made eye contact with the girl with the high-pitched laugh and I saw my future. There was no second date in my future.
Awwww, Trevor! That's hilarious / cute/ awkward. You were like a mini-Larry David but Canadian and presumably not bald. Anyone else have a cute first date story? Send it to me at hi@shmittenkitten.com. I'll publish the funny ones.


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