March 24, 2009

Movie Mayhem: Those Rogue Kernels

We received this reader submission from Elizabeth about one of the diciest predicaments a girl could find herself in while on a movie date: getting popcorn stuck in your bra. Take it away, Elizabeth:
Ladies, ladies, ladies. Can I get a, "Hells, yeah!" from every lady who has sat in a darkened theater and accidentally dropped a kernel or two of popcorn and had it land in their cleavage? You know the spot, just under your cutest shirt's neckline, balancing precariously on your underwire. And can I get a, "What what!" from every lady who has had to reach into her shirt to remove the popcorn, if only to avoid letting the popcorn fall further down her shirt.

Now, how about a loud, enthusiastic, "OH EM GEE!" from every woman who has had to execute this while sitting next to her date. And of course, that date happened to look over at the exact moment your fingers emerge from inside of your shirt. And OF COURSE the look on your date's face is a mix of surprise, disgust, and intrigue. Ladies, we have all been there.

To the boys out there: stop looking at us like that. We did our best--we straightened our hair, took our time putting on eyeliner, selected The Perfect Outfit, only to sit IN THE DARK. You should be happy you're with a girl who has enough cojones (er, cojonas?) to pull that popcorn out of her bra and not spend the next hour shifting uncomfortably. Oh, and you should be delighted to be on a date with a girl down to earth enough to pop that popcorn into her mouth and continue to watch the movie. Clearly this girl is a seasoned film buff who isn't thrown off by a stray piece of popcorn. She's not missing a beat and I can guarantee the post-movie discussion will be insightful.

So stop staring and go back to watching the movie. She's going to have a lot to say afterward, and you don't want to blow the whole date because you can't keep up.

-Elizabeth Marley Eisenstein
There you have it! Chomp chomp.


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