April 7, 2009

Bonerkiller: Textual Dysfunction

We've already said our piece about guys who text "u" and "r" instead of the whole word and when guys just text you the word, "hey." But lately we've seen some disturbing trends creep into our inbox and it involves complete textual dysfunction. We wish we were making this up, but we received the following two text messages from the same lunatic over the weekend. See if you can spot the number of egregious grammatical errors. The first person to email us at hi@shmittenkitten.com with the number of errors wins a prize.
  • Hey know gossip but everthing i said i mean i def want 2 see y
  • Hey phillies home 0pener yea do y like baseball
Yes, he put a zero instead of the letter "o" AND he mistook the letter "y" for the letter "u." Twice. They aren't even on the same key! Reading his texts are like slurping alphabet soup while on acid. Not to swing the grammar hammer too hard, but what kind of adult confuses the word "know" with the word, "no?" There's too much failure going on in these texts for us to comprehend it.

Men of Philadelphia, we cannot emphasize the importance of sound textiquette enough. Any chance you had of being seen with us in public has evaporated because of these misfires. Did you get that? Maybe it'd be easier if we translated the sentiment into your language:

Hey know g0ssip but we r knot gonna c y ever again


Stephanie Says said...

i could not agree more! this has been one of my biggest gripes since i even got a cell phone.
my two other biggest cell phone gripes:
1. if you give a guy your number and he texts instead of grows the balls to actually call you it's such a bonerkilling copout!

2. i'm a speedy texter but when someone tries to have a conversation through texting (if it takes more than 5 texts each) instead of just picking up and calling and the entire conversation would take WAY less time it annoys the crap out of me!

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