I know there's been a heated controversy over who deserves more scorn, dating someone with a cat or a dog. Me? I can't stand any of 'em. Your dog jumps on the bed while we're spooning and stomps on my face. Your cat is a little dickhead that hisses at me when I try to walk in the kitchen. They both get on my nerves.
I'll take it one step further: your fish is boring. Your hamster's cage smells like urine-soaked wood. Your rabbit poos everywhere. Your bird is a squeaky motherfucker. Your pet rat freaks me out. If you have a snake, I wouldn't return your phone call, much less come over to your house to meet it. And, you already know how I feel about your giant, uncaged iguana.
The only pet I don't completely hate is a plant. All it needs is water and a little love. That you can keep.