Alright, I got the memo: you're a busy guy. You're burning the midnight oil on some big project so you try to squeeze in some date time with me over your lunch break. That's sweet, right? Well, maybe in theory, but in practice lunch dates are the worst.For one thing, you're a stress mess. You'll show up panting 'cause you hoofed it the three blocks from your office to the restaurant. Oh dear.
Secondly, you are distracted by the time constraint. Before we even sit down, you announce how you only have an hour to hang out. It's hard to be relaxed when you check your watch every five minutes.
And, without fail, the first ten minutes of the date will be him just unloading about how awful his morning went. Yes, your boss sounds like a tyrant. How could the intern not know how to work a fax machine properly? Why is your secretary never at her desk? I nod, trying to empathize with your petty office dramas when what I'm really thinking is, "Where's the good-timey dude I saw last weekend and what have you done with him?" Bonus points if he excuses himself to say hi to a "client" at the next table and leaves you to pick at your Caesar salad by yourself.
Oh, and the last five minutes of the date will be him complaining about all the work he has to do once he gets back to the office. Great. I applied mascara for this?
I don't care how amazing the lunch specials are at this eatery, it's not worth hanging out with a crummier, stressed-out, slacks-wearing version of the dude you kicked it with last Saturday night. Save the dates for nighttime, where they belong. Just say no to lunch dating!
Besides going out for dinner, going to the movies is one of the basic building blocks of a date. 
We walked into 
I went to The Ritz with this incredibly hot guy who I had been in love with since forever. I decided to see 
Honestly, we think it's really awesome that you cornered us at a party and gushed about how you've had a crush on us for years. It's freakin' great! I know you're slurring your words and you seem a little unsteady on your feet, but it's nice to hear how deep your love runs. You mean at that barbecue last summer you wanted to kiss me but were too nervous to make a move? You've wanted to ask me out for three years but convinced yourself to back off? 
If you thought guys with terrible smelling houses were bad, put that sucker on four wheels and try to control your gag reflex. 
Tip your favorite small-batch, locally-made Porter; Beer Week is over. I know, sniff sniff. 
It's always reassuring when you peruse his DVD collection and see this series on the shelf. It's a shorthand way of knowing that you've landed a winner, like if they have a girl best friend or do volunteer work in the community. As a bonus, they will understand and heartily laugh at the following references:
The first is the 
unsalvageable.
The very last category is the 
You're the cute boy we constantly run into as we run errands in the six-block radius around our apartment. We exchange coy smiles as we wait for the #48 bus in charged silence. We run into you at the local cafe when we make a quick coffee run before a job interview. 
Ales are in the air and suds are in our steins; 
Since the music was loud and hard to yell over, I mouthed, "Whatever you get!" and waved him to the bar. With a decent, reasonably-priced beer list 30 feet to my right, I really was not expecting a worse case scenario. 
As Philly Beer Week approaches, we can't help but raise our glasses to all the craft brewers who are descending upon Philadelphia. With so much going on, one might forget that some of the finest breweries are in our own backyards: 
